Do it for Carey
Honor my hubby with safe J’Ouvert & gun sanity
As the second year approaches of the loss of my husband Carey Gabay, there is now a bittersweet shroud over J’Ouvert. What used to be a celebration of culture for my husband and me, is now the anniversary of my husband’s death. Despite that cold truth, I’m well aware that J’Ouvert did not take him away from me. Gun violence did. Sadly the tragedy of not having loved ones return from J’Ouvert has become all too common, and it’s easy to be distracted and focused upon the violence instead of the celebration and culture.
J’Ouvert, which was historically known as canboulay, was rooted in emancipation from oppression and slavery. During the 1800s, folkloric depictions, dance, costume and music were the heart and soul of carnival, and the celebration of art, diversity, culture and a history of revolution, is why we continue to celebrate carnival today.
Being of Trinidadian descent and my husband of Jamaican descent, we were fully aware and proud of our shared heritage, and as high as Carey rose in the echelons of society, he never once forgot where he came from. Given Carey’s jovial nature he was never too proud to be among the people. He loved the atmosphere and would not want to see the celebrations abolished.
Carey faced great adversity growing up and had every prescription to be a victim to the hardships of society, but he persevered and achieved excellence. Sadly, most people growing up in similar circumstances go on to face poverty and struggle. Tragically now more than ever, it is unfortunate that underprivileged and impoverished neighborhoods become breeding grounds for the proliferation of gang violence, which is a byproduct of the lack of opportunity and much-needed appropriation of funding.
Carey was the living embodiment of the American dream, working his way from poverty to the halls of power to fight for those who were left behind. To make things a little more equal, a little more accessible, a little safer and a little more secure.
The forces that took Carey’s life come from a complex matrix of inequality and a lack of national will to address gun violence. What’s ironic is my husband helped draft legislation on the Safe Act, which set the precedent for gun laws in the state of New York. And yet the iron pipeline and gun show loopholes make it easy for guns to get into the wrong hands — the same hands that would use it with reckless abandon and shoot into a crowd of innocent people celebrating their culture.
Throughout the years, many countermeasures have been attempted in efforts to ensure the safety of J’Ouvert. From increasing police presence, to J’Ouvert City International receiving a permit, high wattage light towers and, as of this year, secured entry points and perimeters, as well as a decision to change the initial starting time from 4 a.m. to 6 a.m.
I honestly hope that there can come a time where there is the prospect of having no casualties during J’Ouvert, and as people get dressed to leave their home and celebrate, they don’t have to worry whether they will come home alive.
I do believe that the time change is an opportunity for the pre-dawn festival J’Ouvert to transition into the communal spirit of carnival, which is a beautiful experience, allowing them to be unified as one entity, benefiting all involved in creating and contributing to the collective experience.
As I continue to try to make sense out of the tragic loss of my husband, I've come to realize that the comprehensive approach that feels best to me is to share my story and give back to those in unfortunate circumstances like Carey endured as an adolescent, as well as the victims of tragic loss similar to what I have suffered and pushed through.
In an attempt to transform the grief, hurt, and anger into a vessel for positivity, a catalyst for hope and change, as well as to preserve his legacy, the Carey Gabay Foundation was established. It was founded on the principles that Carey embodied such as kindness, compassion, and humanity.
We have partnered with the Concert Across America to End Gun Violence for our inaugural launch of the foundation where all voices become one to help combat the scourge of gun violence that all too many have grown numb to. Only as a unified collective could we ever hope to eradicate or make a significant dent in what has become a pronounced national issue that claims lives daily.
Please join us on Sept. 24 as 43 states come together to unite through music and solidarity for change, or kindly donate to the cause at www.careygabayfoundation.org.