Men get preyed upon sexually, too

It’s gratifying to see the “Me Too” movement surging on Twitter and Facebook, revealing the extent of harassment and abuse of women, encouraged by the many A-list actresses telling their long-suppressed stories about Harvey Weinstein and other workplace predators.

Yet we should remember that — though women surely make up the majority of victims — men also can endure this type of abuse, and when it happens, they too are often unlikely to speak up.

When I heard Weinstein’s voice from the episode when Ambra Battilana Gutierrez wore a recording device preparing for a possible sting by the Manhattan district attorney’s office, I got a serious case of the creeps: I had a memory triggered. I was so disgusted, I had to stop the recording, wait a while and play it again.

His voice and mental posture were nearly identical to someone I knew half a lifetime ago. It was that same mix of guilty, pushy and desperate.

When I was 23 years old, fresh out of college and an aspiring young writer, I was given the name of someone who I was told could be helpful to my career. He was about 64 and by all indications was immensely successful and well respected.

He was one of those Manhattan powerhouse types: a headhunter, with his own executive search and recruitment firm in the medical industry.

He had ties to many other fields. He was a political operative and fund-raiser for Gov. Mario Cuomo (one of my political heroes). On a wall behind his desk were various awards and accolades and photos of him with various famous people.

He had connections in film and entertainment. He was one of those guys who seemed to have everyone who was anyone in his Rolodex, and who was in a position to do a young person a solid favor.

His office was in his apartment on the Upper East Side, where he lived with his wife. And it turned out, he was also a closeted married man who would do whatever he could to get the sex he thought he needed.

He would hire young men, ostensibly for a day of work, which would take about an hour. It consisted of tearing up résumés, each of which he glanced at for exactly half a second.

Then, on the second or third visit came the offer of drugs (his preferred libation was LSD). I liked to trip, so I took him up.

I was absolutely not attracted to him. However, soon, I found myself high on acid, being physically pushed, with his hands on my shoulders, into the bedroom he shared with his wife.

He was much larger than I was, and more in control of his faculties. I was not in a position to resist. Given my state of mind, I knew the danger of that. I went with the flow.

This was in 1987, not the most enlightened times where sexual transgression is concerned. The experience felt weird, though I didn’t understand for a long time that something actually wrong had happened.

I seemed to be there by my own choices, recommended by a trusted friend. But he had an agenda and a strategy, and it worked.

It occurred to me, based on certain conversation points, that this was a kind of routine thing for him, you might say something he was used to. He knew what he was doing.

Most men who have experienced anything like this cannot come forward and speak out. There’s a double taboo: Sexual abuse is not a well-accepted topic of discussion in general. People are afraid of not being believed, a fear that’s compounded by worries about destroying one’s career or losing potential gigs.

But homophobia is perhaps an even more serious taboo. Many men who fall prey to male predators are heterosexual, and don’t want it known by friends or intimate partners that they have had a gay experience. They simply have too much to lose if they come forward, especially if they don’t want to come out at the same time.

I should be completely clear: I’m in no way suggesting that homosexual men are any more likely to engage in this kind of awful, potentially criminal behavior than heterosexual men. But when they do, I fear homophobia provides them an extra layer of cover. If the abusers are accustomed to living a closeted life, which is more common than many people recognize, they know how to keep things that way.

It’s excellent to hear so many women speaking up and saying, “Me, too.” Now we have to stand up and say, “Men, too.”