Weird BUT true

Let’s say it one more time: Don’t party with monkeys.

Police in Augusta, Ga., arrested a lab technician at Georgia Health Sciences University when they found him drunk and partially nude — with two monkeys running loose out of their cages.

Coley Oneal Mitchell, 32, was found in the Animal Services Lab by college security.

“No animals were harmed during the incident, but the university takes the allegations very seriously,” the university said.

It’s hard being a good Samaritan these days.

A 21yearold Plainfield, NJ, man and his 26yearold female companion jumped out of their car when they saw what appeared to a mugger assaulting a woman pedestrian.

They tussled with the man while the woman ran off. But when cops arrived they determined that the woman was the mugger, and she had stolen $400 and a gold chain worth $500 from the 26yearold victim.

It just wasn’t Harriet Sweger’s day.

Police in Stowe Township, Pa., said the 72yearold woman was robbed in a grocery store when a woman bumped into her, grabbed her checkbook and ran off.

Sweger headed to a police station to report the crime, but when she asked for directions, a man reached into her car and grabbed her purse.

Fake meth is selling like hot cakes.

The owner of an Albuquerque, NM, candy store is selling a product she’s calling “meth candy” as she tries to play off the popularity of the hit cableTV show “Breaking Bad.”

A 33pound bronze lion’s head and a suit of armor have been found in waters off the coast of southern Italy.

An expert cited by Il Quotidiano di Calabria newspaper said the artifacts were probably from a Greek or Phoenician ship that sank in the area 15 centuries ago.