FAMILY GUISE

THANK goodness for extralarge favors.

Among the blessings of having not been born into a family that owns or can purchase big league teams is that we’ll never have to wrestle with moral dilemmas to determine whether we should write multimillion dollar paychecks to those we wouldn’t allow to set foot on our seasonal estates.

To that end, the Jets have reacquired cornerback Antonio Cromartie, a 30yearold fellow who, at last count is the father of 12 children by eight women in six states.

No big deal. Jets fans, especially those burdened by PSLs and/or buoyed by booze, are expected to cheer for Cromartie based on nothing more substantial than the logo on his jersey.

With Cromartie back, we in the media can return to having sly fun with him, as if his children live in a cartoon world. The operative, hip phrase for at least seven of the mothers is “baby mama.”

“Baby Mama” is so much slicker, more irreverent and far less personal slang for the reckless manufacture of children than any socially backwards, awkward reminder that while Cromartie’s an expert in the art of making mothers and babies, it seems impossible he is able to serve his scattered young age children as a nurturing, I’m-here-for-you father.

There’s not a cheaper, more flippant, repulsive expression for fatherhood, motherhood, parenthood and childhood than “baby mama.” But here we are.

The odds against the children (and their children) of such “baby papas” are stag gering, depressing. But on we go.

Interesting thing about the Jets’ PSLs. Nowhere in the contract did the club promise to aggressively and annually pursue creeps. But here we are. In Cromartie’s case, here we are, again.

What is included, deep in those contracts, in plain, tinyprint English, if you got that far: Whatever previous claims and promises the Jets made to urge you to buy a PSL starting at $30,000 each (tickets not included) don’t count-count — fool!

Section 11, paragraph (e): “This PSL supersedes any written or oral agreement, instrument, application, promotional material, brochure, website information or other representation previously made, distributed or entered by or on behalf of their respective affiliates with respect to those matters.”

All of this comes with Roger Goodell’s approval and assertion that PSLs “are good investments.”

Nevertheless, the Jets can depend on a constituency that would cheer an escaped felon if he were wearing a Jets jersey. They’re known as unconditional imbeciles and they can be found cheering for “their team,” here, there and everywhere.

Here, the pep band is led by the won’tgrowup team of Null & Void. WFAN’s Joe Benigno and Evan Roberts, unabashed sisboombah Jets fans, give the simpleminded a bad name. ESPN’s Mike Greenberg, who refers to the Jets as “we,” sounded upbeat by the news Cromartie’s back.

Yes, he is! And only $7 million of his new, $32 million deal is guaranteed. Such a bargain! Your PSL money at work! And as John Sterling said of Alex Rodriguez’s return, “It’s not as if he murdered someone.”

Let’s see … seven million, before taxes, divided by 12 children and eight mothers/ baby mamas in six states …

JETS! Jets! Jets! Jets!