Weird BUT true

Hungry for an alibi. An illegal immigrant allegedly caught driving a stolen car in Florida tried to chew off his own fingerprints, police said.

The driver, identified as Kenzo Roberts, had a gun and stolen credit cards and was wanted on an assault charge, according to police, who were able to fingerprint him before he could gnaw his way to freedom.

Get in mainline. A police raid on a heroin dealer in Illinois was interrupted when nearly a dozen people showed up looking to buy the drug, cops said.

In the hour and a half that the Illinois State Police were at the suspected dealer’s house, they located $2,300 in cash and fielded knocks on the door from 10 folks who wanted to make a purchase, they said.

Think of the children! A Nebraska man fed up with drivers speeding down his street placed a diapered doll on a tricycle to trick motorists into slowing down.

Dave Sobotka put the toddlersized object near his parked car, as if the “child” were about to ride across the street, stopping at least one driver in his tracks. This is how the sausage doesn’t get made.

A tiny New Zealand town that had proclaimed itself the country’s “Sausage Capital” has been living a lie: The only butcher shut its doors a few years ago.

The sausages in Tutapere were so good they were listed in travel guides for the region. Now the town has been dealt “a bit of a blow,” local official George Harpur said.

She went hog wild. Police who were asked to check on the welfare of folks living in a house in suburban England found a menagerie — including a fully grown pig, three dogs, four ferrets and 12 cats.

The owner of the animals, a 41yearold woman, was later arrested for threatening a woman she believed had called the cops about her fourlegged friends.