His sexy job made me swipe right
From carpenters to coders, singles are pursuing those with hot careers
WHEN the world was introduced to Amy Schumer’s studly boyfriend Ben Hanisch on her Instagram — and learned he’s a furniture designer — instant flashbacks emerged of Carrie Bradshaw dating her handsome carpenter beau Aidan on “Sex and the City.”
We couldn’t help but wonder: Could someone’s sexy profession prompt a right swipe on a dating app?
For Mary* of Bushwick, replace “furniture” with “technology,” and she’s smitten.
“I’ve always been fascinated by technology,” the 23yearold marketing professional says. “Naturally, I was drawn to men in tech.”
Even when professions and employer names weren’t revealed on profiles, Mary scrutinized the photos of her prospective mates to see if they fit the nerdy bill. A bespectacled, scruffy guy — like Chris Hemsworth in the new “Ghostbusters” reboot (top) — would definitely get a swipe right. “[My matches] looked nerdier or were dressed in something goofy — no suits, not so much clubbing /party pictures, usually not close shaved.”
Having swiped right last May on her current IT beau, Mary points out dating a techie has its perks: It’s easy to get your gadgets fixed, like the time she cracked her iPhone screen. “Another perk,” she notes, “is having a reallife Wikipedia explaining technology concepts, which helps at my techadjacent job.”
There’s salary swiping, too. Lily*, a 32yearold marketing hedgefund professional in Chelsea, prefers dating men in financial services, because not only will they have something in common, they can afford her preferred NYC lifestyle as well. If he’s a struggling artist or works at a nonprofit, according to Lily, fuhgeddaboutit.
“If they’re at a certain point in their life — let’s say in their 40s — and they’re not an executive, I swipe left,” she says. “I question why they’re not further in their career.”
Shawn Graham, author of “Courting Your Career,” says a mate with big career ambitions could mean high standards for their relationships, too.
“Fit is just as important in the workplace as it is with dating,” he says. “Whether you’re considering a career path or someone to date, you need to really spend some time identifying the values and traits that are most important to you.”
Karenna Alexander, 49, of Greenwich, Conn., uses Tinder, and says a specific profession doesn’t matter so much as someone’s smarts.
“Intelligence is my personal dealbreaker,” she says. “Professionals in these fields fit the bill — business owners, salespeople, doctors, lawyers, businessmen, writers and artistic types.”
She’s on the fence with bluecollar jobs and typically swipes left for plumbers and electricians.
“But if someone in a bluecollar field is holding up ‘War and Peace,’ I might give him a shot because we might have something in common.”
A leftswipe trigger for 39yearold Kent* when he’s on Grindr: any physician. The Chelseabased media executive stopped flirting with doctors altogether after dating several.
“I found them to be very good at shutting off emotion,” he recalls. He felt this stunted their relationship’s growth. “At times they were all quite cold and slightly inhumane. Their hours didn’t help, either.”
But keeping an open mind is key when dating online, says relationship expert Andrea Syrtash, author of “He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s a Good Thing).”
“If we say ‘all bankers are selfish’ or ‘all artists are flaky,’ we are unfairly judging people we haven’t even met yet,” she says. “We are cutting ourselves off from potential matches, and this can hinder our dating lives.”
Plus, she adds, occupations and lifestyles can change over time.
“I don’t believe in ‘always’ or ‘never’ rules when it comes to love,” she says. “You don’t marry a piece of paper. Look at who the person is in front of you, not who he or she is on a checklist.”
*Names have been changed for professional and personal reasons.