My week on the red carpet cleanse
How I lost 5 pounds in five days on the punishing detox diet beloved by Oscar-bound starlets
THE Oscars are Sunday, and all of Tinseltown has been dieting, detoxing and putting their glam squads on high alert for Hollywood’s biggest night. That means the phone of Haylie Pomroy, Los Angeles-based nutritionist to the stars, has been ringing off the hook.
“This time of year is crazy,” says Pomroy, who has worked wwith J.Lo, Reese Witherspoon and Kirsten Dunst to help them look lithe and lovely onn the red carpet.
Awards-bound celebs often seek out Pomroy for her five-day and 10-day fast metabolism cleanse, an intense, fat-melting regimen that promises to eliminate bloat, shed pounds and brighten one’s skin and eyes. The $130 and $195 programs include tubs of Pomroy’s specially formulated Fast Metabolism Cleanse powder — a plant-based protein mix that includes flaxseed, spinach powder, spirulina powder, pomegranate extract, lentil-based protein and turmeric powder — and instructions. Celebs are so fanatical about the stuff she’s even flown an employee cross-country to hand deliver it: “The client called at 3 a.m., and I had tot pop one of our two staff members on a 6 a.m. plane!,” says Pomroy, whose new book, “Fast Metabolism Food Rx,” is out now.
“I’ve shipped the cleanse everywhere from Abu Dhabi to Venezuela to Puerto Rico,” she adds. “Like, when Jen [nifer Lopez] was on her world tour.”
Curious about this magical cleanse —— and hoping to get rid of some of thhe bloat I acquired from a
“Toting small baggies of green powder, I feel like a drugdealing Gwyneth Paltrow.”
diet of coffee, cocktails and Fashion Week party hors d’oeuvres — I decided to try the five-day version.
“You’re going to look so amazing,” Pomroy tells me during our first phone consultation, in which she determines I need a “digestion intervention.” She formulates a plan for me that involves drinking at least two of her protein-powder shakes a day, one or two snacks (veggies and a ½ cup of fruit) and one balanced lunch or dinner, save for Day 4, in which I will consume nothing but the mysterious green powder five times (welp!), plus unlimited vegetables. As with most cleanses, alcohol, caffeine and gluten are strictly forbidden.
“The first two days you’re going to hate me, but the third day you might talk to me,” warns Pomroy.
She’s not wrong. Day 1 begins with a marital dispute when my husband reads the label warning: “This product contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause birth defects or other reproductive harm.”
“You’re putting your life in danger!” he exclaims.
“Kirsten Dunst does it — I’m sure it’s OK; it’s only for five days,” I try to reassure him. He’s not reassured.
I take two scoops of the stuff, mix it with water, and drink up. It has a kind of mealy, slightly sweet Flintstones Vitamins taste. Not the most delicious thing ever, but not horrible — and filling.
Days 2 and 3 fall on the weekend. Brunch is out, so I head to the Metropolitan Museum toting various small baggies with measured amounts of green powder. I feel like a drug-dealing Gwyneth Paltrow.
Afterward, my husband and I meet up at a casual Italian restaurant on the Upper West Side. I order fish with vegetables — the only thing that looks anywhere near cleanse-appropriate on the menu. Of course, celebs have it a bit easier than I did at that trattoria. “If there’s an event at the Soho House, we send a food list over to the chef at the restaurant,” Pomroy says.
I tell her that sounds insane. She laughs. “They take this very seriously!”
By Day 5, I can understand why.
I’ve shed 5 pounds from my 5-foot-4 frame, the zit on my chin has vanished and my hair is looking particularly shiny.
But I don’t think I can go on any longer. Being a celebrity is hard, but eating like a celebrity when you’re not one is even harder.