Weird but true

A Florida woman made a “joint” investment when she bought a used couch online — and discovered it was stuffed with weed.

The woman knew something was up when the seller began frantically texting her, saying she’d left something important in one of its cushions.

“You’re stealing from me!” the seller said, insisting she return the pot. Instead, the woman called police. Brew ha-ha. A Minnesota truck driver spotted a bandit swiping cases of beer inside his rig — so he slammed the back door and locked it, trapping him inside, police said.

The trucker had been unloading cases when Mark Erickson, 47, allegedly tried to make off with the brews.

The thirsty thief was stuck inside the truck for five minutes before police showed up and arrested him.

A Pennsylvania gym banned cable news following several heated locker-room arguments over politics.

The YMCA in Scranton said 24-hour news channels like CNN, MSNBC and Fox are forbidden due to “safety” issues after some members complained.

But some said verbal sparring is no sweat. “I think the ban is probably an overreaction,” one griped.

A Colorado man paid to publish a full-page ad in a British tabloid, claiming his family lineage proves he’s the real king of England.

Allan Evans linked his ancestry to the country’s past kings, such as Cunedda Wledig, the founder of Wales. His majesty said he’ll claim his throne and his rightful lands and assets in 30 days. Man, oh man. A university in Wales is taking gender sensitivity to a whole new level by banning “sexist” terms such as “gentleman’s agreement,” “mankind” and “sportsmanship.”

Cardiff Metropolitan University released the list of 34 forbidden words and phrases to help “embrace cultural diversity,” the school said.