Weird true David K. Li, Wires

A West Virginia man broke into a relative’s home to charge his cellphone — then got himself in big trouble for stealing and destroying her home-security system, police said.

So why did Tristan Torelle Tucker, 27, allegedly trash the equipment?

While there, Tucker said he watched Internet porn, pleasured himself and “didn’t want his grandmother seeing him doing that on camera,” cops said.

California pols are trying to solve a fine mess.

They are mulling a law to base traffic-offense penalties on drivers’ ability to pay — so a $490 red-light penalty doesn’t bankrupt anyone.

“You should pay a price when you violate the law, but the price can’t be a thousand times your annual salary,” said state Sen. Bob Hertzberg.

Ruff justice for a Florida pizza-parlor burglar.

Cops say they asked an intruder, identified as Joseph Pellegrini, at Hungry Howie’s in Winter Haven to step out — or face a police dog.

When Pellegrini stayed put, K9 Recon entered, bit him in the leg and, after a struggle, the suspect was arrested, cops said.

An Amherst, Mass., man was hurt when his hammock — attached to the chimney on his roof — collapsed.

Fire Chief Walter “Tim” Nelson called the man “extremely lucky” that, when the chimney gave way while he was napping, he suffered just minor injuries.

An Alaska strip-club owner, at war with local officials, is armed for bare.

Darren Byler, shut down after what he called a bogus conviction for dumping human waste into Kodiak Bay, is seeking revenge — by relaunching his floating strip club. The 94-foot Wild Alaskan can’t serve alcohol but it will feature exotic dancers all summer, says Byler who believes he was “targeted for morality.”