A goyous occasion
Shul OKs interfaith nups, ‘but raise kids Jewish’
A historic Upper West Side synagogue is breaking with centuries of tradition — telling interfaith couples to “goy ahead” and tie the knot in its sacred sanctuary.
After a year of dialogue and debate, the 192-year-old B’nai Jeshurun on West 88th Street — “BJ” to friends and neighbors — has decided to accommodate the growing number of members, most of them young, who want a rabbi to officiate as they marry outside the faith.
“The barriers have fallen down and the intersection between Jews, and non-Jews are much more common in terms of having deep relationships and falling in love,” BJ senior Rabbi Rolando Matalon told The Post.
Special ceremonies uniting members of the tribe and those outside of it will begin in 2018. Currently, very few Conservative rabbis in the New York area conduct the unorthodox rites.
Naturally, the new weddings come with more than a few “Thou shalts” and “Thou shalt nots.”
Couples must agree to raise a Jewish family.
Rabbis will not co-officiate with clergy of other faiths.
And while the non-Jewish mate need not convert to Judaism, the couple must promise to give the resulting children a Jewish education.
The couple cannot practice two religions.
But the kids “may be introduced to, understand and respect the faiths of their non-Jewish grandparents and other relatives,” Matalon said.
Importantly, Jewish holidays and rituals, including lighting candles on the Sabbath, must be observed.
“The goal is to pass down all the values and richness of what Jewish life has to offer,” said Felicia Sol, the synagogue’s first female rabbi.
Not everyone is kvelling about the news.
The Jewish Theological Seminary, which trains rabbis for the Conser- vative movement, said Wednesday it will uphold its own ban on interfaith wedding ceremonies.
But one New York interfaith couple applauded — with reservations.
“This is an incredibly positive step,” said Sandy Myers, whose Jewish family attended a less restrictive Reform temple.
“I don’t totally agree with the mandate that the couple has to raise their children Jewish,” she said. “They should focus on creating an atmosphere that inspires people to make that decision on their own.”
Myers married fellow nonprofit worker Ames Grawert, who hails from a loosely religious Christian family, in 2015.
The couple observes Jewish traditions like Shabbat dinners but has also decorated a Christmas tree as “a fun thing to do together,” Myers said.
Grawert won’t skip his family’s big Christmas get-together.
They plan to raise their kids Jewish, including giving them a bar or bat mitzvah ceremony — “if they choose,” Grawert said.