TV series not for the kids

NEED a gynecologist or a colonoscopy? Just tune into Sunday’s new series on porn. The orifices are open at all hours. “The Deuce” turns HBO initials into hookers, bums and oy!

Every eye, ear and movable part will react to “The Deuce” — but a Mother’s Day gift it’s not. The screening drew Steven Van

Zandt with his usual babushka. Him I never saw at the ballet. Also two guys from the series. I was told: “They’re the pimps.” Oh, OK. Also ladies with long legs up to the navel. I was told: “They played hookers.” Oh, OK.

A major word in the dialogue starts with “F.” For a change of pace, it’s often preceded by the word “mother.” Maggie Gyllenhaal co-stars and co-produced. James

Franco, in the double role of twins, told me: “Early ’70s to mid-’80s Times Square was a rough-and-tumble world pioneering America’s billion-dollar sex trade. Unregulated. People just bought and sold. From the ground up, nobody looking out for anybody. We’re telling the filthy story unabashedly.

“It’s no fairy tale, so a danger was not showing enough. Scenes aren’t gratuitous, but before filming anything we talked about it over and over. We also show the grit and the pain. It’s porn. It’s repelling.

“I directed two episodes. I’d never directed sex before. We had boundaries. I talked with each actor beforehand. Discussions upfront before anyone signed on. All measures were taken to make it comfortable as possible. Closed set. Minimum crew. Every courtesy. Every precaution. Actors clothed until the last second. “There are no gratuitous sex scenes, but it was important to invade the atmosphere exactly as it happened. And to show how difficult lives were. So we had to add in what was needed. Call it a tough mix. “Look, a character I play is a real person.” Right. So Sunday, a few hours after church, you can watch hookers working it, pimps booking it, johns doing it.