JOHNSON INJURY SHUFFLES CARDS

David Johnson

HI, MR. DAVID Johnson Fantasy Owner. I’m Dr. Madman.

I’ve looked at your chart, er, roster, and I’m afraid I have some bad news. The test results came back and the diagnosis is Fantasy Catastrophe Syndrome. It has manifested itself by way of injury to your top fantasy draft pick, David Johnson.

The nature of your ailment, a dislocated left wrist for Johnson, will render your fantasy roster much less functional than before, and this symptom might linger for the entire season. I need to be blunt, Mr. Owner: The survival rate of fantasy teams with this kind of affliction is not high. You’re going to need to manage your expectations going forward. There is no magic cure. But there are some methods we can provide to at least help curb the pain.

You could get a dose of Kerwynn Williams. We can’t guarantee this will be of much help, since Williams will not provide the same type of roster strength and production Johnson did, but as your doctor, I would suggest starting here.

Under your insurance policy, he likely is available on the waiver wire. If you start to see side effects, like Andre Ellington getting too much of the workload to make Williams fantasy viable, or Arizona signing another running back, like Chris Johnson, then you probably want to switch medications.

I could write you a prescription for Javorius Allen. This is the same treatment we give to victims of the Danny Woodhead Disorder. Allen virtually split the Ravens’ Week 1 rushing workload with lead back Terrance West. With Woodhead possibly out for a significant period of time, this likely will become normal. The Ravens historically like throwing to their running backs, so this move would work well if your blood type, er, league type scores for points per reception.

As your doctor, I recommend you try this as a second option. With West in the picture, Allen has a more difficult path to feature status than does Williams. Because neither of these options provide an enormously effective solution, we think volume is the best way to treat your issue, and Williams has a clearer path to the most volume.

If neither of those options appeals to you, there are some less traditional treatments you could explore. You could try to pick up third-down backs. Be advised, doing so requires a blood type of PPR positive. If you choose this path, look on the waiver wire for Charles Sims, Tarik Cohen or maybe even Chris Thompson.

The only other option would be to attempt a transplant by way of trade. If you have a healthy amount of wide receivers, start there. But don’t cut off one arm to replace the other.

None of these remedies will eliminate all the pain or restore your roster completely. Remember, manage your expectations, and we’ll do everything we can to keep you as comfortable as possible.

Good luck, Mr. David Johnson Fantasy Owner.