Weird BUT true

Justice in a nutshell. Three aggressive squirrels mauled six people at a lake in New Orleans, prompting authorities to apprehend the furry culprits, the city’s mayor said.

Officials caught and caged the trouble-making critters near Vista Lake, according to Mayor Mitch Landrieu.

“We put our best team on the case, and 3 of the squirrels in question have been apprehended,” he tweeted.

That’s one screwy business model.

A company in China wants to help broke, lonely guys get some action by hawking a sex-doll-sharing app, according to a report.

Beijing-based startup Ta Qu rents the silicone ladies — which can cost more than $6,000 — for $198 a week with a deposit.

“The dolls’ lower parts are changed for every customer,” the app promises.

Doggone cheater! One of Ireland’s top racing greyhounds was banned from the track after testing positive for cocaine use.

Officials sniffed out levels of benzoylecgonine — the drug’s main metabolite — in the bloodstream of champion pooch Clonbrien Hero.

Trainer Graham Holland claimed the cocaine had been ingested accidentally.

Cops are on their tail. The feds are hunting for two careless boaters who allegedly zipped “over the top” of a humpback whale in Alaska, authorities said.

The Jet Ski jerks narrowly missed slicing up the majestic creature in Resurrection Bay in July, prompting onlookers to report the close call, authorities said.

Federal law requires people stay at least 100 yards away from the whales.

He’s out of luck. Jason Myracle bought two lottery tickets and gave one to a female store clerk in Festus, Mo.

But the generous man ended up with zip while the cashier hit the jackpot — winning nearly $400,000.

“Heck yeah, it’s a big tip,” Myracle said. Natalie O’Neill and Wire Services