WHAT WERE THEY INKING?
Relationships may come and go, but tattoos inspired by ex-lovers can put a permanent damper on your love life
WHEN it comes to finding somebody special, Kristel Oreto’s body art can be an issue.
“When I see a cute guy, I would love to just be able to say, ‘Hey, I like you, let me take you out for a steak,’ ” says Oreto, a 37-year-old tattoo artist from Philadelphia, whose many tattoos include the word “forever” spelled out backward on her face and an entirely black sleeve on her left arm.
“But a lot of times, they say I’m just not the kind of girl they want to take home,” she says. “Just because I look like this doesn’t mean I’m trashy.”
Tattoos have been mainstream for years — nearly
“She didn’t speak to me for two days. I was sleeping on the couch.” — Ray Mandal on his wife’s reaction to his new tattoo
four in 10 people born after 1980 have at least one, according to the Pew Research Center — but they can still cause issues when it comes to romance. Body art can deter potential mates or be a painful, permanent reminder of past lovers.
“A tattoo of an ex can be a constant reminder of a deep emotional connection with someone from the past,” says Dr. Michael Aaron, a certified sex therapist based in Midtown.
Aaron says the issue comes up a couple of times a year in his office. “And it’s an easy thing to cover [a tattoo] up, so if the person doesn’t want to do that, it’s worth exploring further.”
Two years ago, Drew, a 29-yearold warehouse supervisor from Staten Island, got an ultimatum from his fiancée: Either he had to go or he had to get rid of the tattoo of an ex-girlfriend’s mother’s name on his butt.
“It was another girl’s name, and she wasn’t cool with that,” says Drew, who couldn’t reveal his last name for professional reasons. “I didn’t argue with her.”
He immediately made an appointment with his tattoo artist, Magie Serpica of Milk and Honey Tattoo Parlour, for a coverup.
Now, a large, black square with the words “Keep Out” covers the mother’s name. The one-hour cover job was even more painful than the initial ink, but his nowwife is happy.
“I don’t know if [she] would have called off the marriage, but it would have been a huge sign of disrespect,” he says. “If I were in her shoes, I would have felt like the tattoo was more important than the relationship.”
Oreto recently spent seven hours covering up a tattoo that her ex had inscribed on her inner thigh reading “slut wife,” shortly before her divorce. The piece had caused issues for her in the bedroom.
“I was dating a guy, and when we slept together, he saw my thigh. He said, ‘We need to talk about that tattoo,’ ” she says. “I broke up with him. If he couldn’t accept me, I didn’t want to be with him.”
Mary Garnett, co-owner of Clean Slate Laser Tattoo Removal, which has offices in Manhattan, Staten Island, New Jersey and Long Island, cautions that possessive tattoos are usually a sign that a relationship is doomed.
“Getting a person’s name tattooed on you is an omen,” says Garnett, who runs the business with her husband, Jeff. “You might as well just break up.”
Maia Marandola of the Finery, a laser tattoo-removal specialist in the Flatiron District, says a significant chunk of her business is ink from past relationships.
“Last week alone we removed 80 tattoos, and I’d say about 20 of them had something to do with an ex, whether it was their name or some kind of image related to the ex,” Marandola says.
Sometimes, the end of a relationship can inspire a regrettable tattoo. While the origins of Ben Affleck’s giant-phoenix back tattoo are shrouded in mystery (the public first got a glimpse of it in 2015, followed by a full reveal earlier this year), his ex-wife, Jennifer Garner, hopes it isn’t related to their breakup.
“A phoenix rising from the ashes. Am I the ashes in this scenario? I take umbrage,” Garner told Vanity Fair in 2016. “I refuse to be the ashes.” (Another Affleck ex, Jennifer Lopez, simply called it “awful.”)
In an existing relationship, changing a beloved piece can also cause a rift. Tattoo artist Ray Mandal thought it would be funny to cover up his wedding-ring tattoo with the motto “live slow” spread across his knuckles. His wife wasn’t so amused to see the symbol of their love inked over.
“She didn’t speak to me for two days,” says Mandal, who is now in the process of having “live slow” removed from his hands. “I was sleeping on the couch.”
In extreme cases, it’s not so much an ex’s name (or her mother’s, for that matter) as some other thing that’s just so cringe-worthy, the relationship can’t possibly adapt.
“One customer brought in his fiancée, who had a ram’s head on her crotch with the phrase ‘Ram me’ across her pelvis,” says Jeff Garnett. “He just didn’t want to think about how many other people had rammed it for the rest of his life.”