Everyone’s cracking up
ANGELINA and Brad are spending more time with attorneys than they did with one another. Splits, move-outs, breakups and breakdowns are big business. Take the Jennifers alone. Jennifer Aniston splitting with Justin Theroux. Jennifer Garner splitting with Ben Affleck. Jennifer Lopez a serial wife.
It’s Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor, Billy Bush, Donald Trump Jr., assorted Kardashians, mishmash Housewives of who cares, Alex Rodriguez, Spitzer with the hooker and the
Matt Lauers and Harvey Weinsteins and Rudy Giulianis. Per one matrimonial expert: “Today it’s multicultural multisex partners, bought children, live together without marriage, one-nighters, Internet hookups, drugs. No more commitment. Hollywoodites change husbands like they change clothes. At the altar they look around and say, ‘On second thought I think I’ll take that other one.’ ”
Wrangles are protracted. The Harry Macklowes are fighting over art. Brangelina is tangling over children. However, uncoupling couples don’t just fight over property, possessions, children, savings. Divorce attorney Ira Garr: “Now it’s the dog. One client fought over a poodle. For years. I told him, ‘You can’t have everything.’ He said, ‘I want the dog.’ I said, ‘So if you keep the dog, you
Angelina Jolie is just one of many celeb breakups. have to give in and give up something else.’ “Partners today feel entitled. Say a woman came from nothing. She scores a rich husband. She’s a few years in or maybe he’s now a few inches out and she thinks to be supported the rest of her life. “I deal with so many crazies. Anger and hate is thick. One husband wouldn’t part with anything. I told him plainly, ‘You’re married 20 years. The bad news is, a big chunk is going to her.’ One case had the wife as the earner. Married a hot six years, his demands were ridiculous. The legal fees were more. It’s the lawyers who get the money.”
The system’s broken. Why does divorce in this state drag on for years?
“Courts are overcrowded. Insufficient judges. There’s custody disputes, forensic exams, mental health issues, documents required, motions made to produce the documents. People are busy. Things languish. Can take 60 to 90 days to file a report. It’s endless. You’re in the process forever.
“It’s idiotic to litigate. The only people it helps are lawyers.”
Meet Mr. Met
MET Museum of Art’s new director Max Hollein is making even the art itself happy. The institution now has better financial shape, improved morale, employee shake-up, areas redone, a revivified board. Vienna-born Hollein was big in San Francisco Fine Arts and director and CEO of Fine Arts in Germany, too. Just letting you know what I know.
Screening stars
TONY Goldwyn will play Uma Thurman’s husband in “Chambers,” a heavy-duty Netflix drama thing about the supernatural . . . AND remember Eddie Murphy? Leave us not forget Eddie Murphy. He’ll star in a TV biography playing somebody named Rudy Ray Moore . . .A pile of years ago I reported that Aretha Franklin said she wanted Jennifer Hudson to someday take the star role in a film based on her life.
EUROPE hell: When the French greet you, the English cook for you, the Germans entertain you, and the Italians organize you.
Only from a New York tourist kids, only from a New York tourist.