Q&A CAREER COACH
I’m a new recruit in a firehouse and I’m shocked by some of the behavior and conversations there. I feel like I’m back in the high-school locker room. I’m getting “rookie” jokes and abuse because I don’t participate. Should I say something or let it go?
Well, first of all, thank you for your service being among New York’s bravest. My one request — a small one in the grand scheme of things: Can you guys be a little quicker backing the truck into the station so that you aren’t blocking traffic for more than one change of lights? Seriously, it is hard to know if you are being super sensitive about working in a firehouse, which might have a different culture than you’d find working for a bank. Is it typical locker-room behavior, where it might not be suitable for corporate environments but isn’t unlawful? Or is it over the line? Talk to someone, outside the firehouse but within the department, who can give you some perspective. There are staff dedicated to helping recruits. Also, you could ask the station house chief (if the chief isn’t a culprit) for his or her perspective.
I have experienced countless situations where an individual lacked selfawareness, thinking they didn’t do anything wrong but where others had a very different feeling. The best thing is to deal with it head on, not defensively but with contrition. Privately speak to the person who feels offended. Don’t put them on the defensive. Simply state what you heard and that you would like to understand better. Say that you want to clarify and remedy any misunderstanding and apologize for whatever you did to make the person feel uncomfortable. Reinforce that is not who you are, and that hopefully this can be remedied so you can both move forward with a fresh start. Depending on the gravity of the offense, you stand a good chance of changing the narrative.
I was at a company retreat where there was a lot of time spent having meals and cocktails. I’ve heard that one or two people felt uncomfortable with my behavior one night. I wasn’t drunk and I can’t think of anything that I did. Should I ignore this or address it?
Gregory Gian grande is a chief human resources and communications officer in the mediaindustry.E-mailyourcareer questionstogotogreg@nypost.com. Follow Greg on Twitter: @gregg ian grande. His Goto Greg podcast series is avail ab leo ni Tunes.