Celeb lockdown check-in
CELEBRITIES during lockdown: Laura Dern: “I’m picking myself apart” . . . ARMIE Hammer, who is splitting from wife Elizabeth Chambers: “Selfabusing narcissist, I watch my old films” . . . GAL Gadot’s looking forward to the November release of her Netflix thriller “Red Notice” . . . HARVEY Keitel and Sônia Braga wrapped “Fatima,” a true faith film about visitations of the Virgin Mary. ExMarine Harvey and the Virgin Mary??
Aug. 3 West Side’s Carlebach Shul — where Michael Jackson once prayed — doing a virtual dinner. Actual guests are Ashton Kutcher and Annette Bening ... SAG Harbor’s Bay Street Theater advertising a “red carpet” for their annual summer gala, Starry Night. Among the starry stars for this event on July 22 are Omar LopezCepero, Trent Saunders, Kaden Amari Anderson and Jackie Hoffman. OK?
Celebrity hotels during lockdown: A shamrock from Ireland is Castle Leslie, where Paul McCartney married his ex Heather Mills. Says Sammy Leslie: “We just reopened. Hunkered down, terrified, I haven’t slept in six weeks. Our 1,000 acres are in the country so my furniture maker made outside tables 2 meters wide for our lakeside picnic houses. But Yanks aren’t coming like before.” Where Yanks are going is to 1778’s historic Greenbrier in White Sulphur Springs, W.Va. Owned by that state’s Gov. Jim Justice. With a hospital and bunker that hid our WWII government, it’s housed kings, queens, stars and 26 presidents. On July Fourth, 1,400 guests arrived from New York, New Jersey, Cincinnati, Kentucky, DC and Cleveland.
Book is useless
ONE more thing about that fake fraud savaging Uncle Donald in her book. She wrote about his not taking his SATs. Transferring in his junior year, Trump did not need to send SATs to Penn. He had Fordham grades. Better her pages should wrap fish. Same smell.
Ba dum bum
UROLOGIST to a male patient: “Pee in your yard. If ants gather: diabetes. If you pee on your feet: prostate. If it smells like barbecue: cholesterol. If you return home with it still outside your pants: Alzheimer’s. And if it produces steam when it hits the ground: acid reflux.”
Name game
VIRGINIA’S private Washington College began 1749. In 1865 it was going under so the Civil War’s Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee assumed its presidency. Upon his death, their name changed to Washington and Lee University. He, the family, even his horse Traveler are buried on campus.
Although Lee repented slavery, faculty now demands his name be removed from the university because he opposed racial equality. So they’ll call it now what — Up U?
Another note. The Rev. Martin Luther King’s Civil Rights Movement suffered a Sunday church bombing, which killed four little black girls. Thomas Blanton, the last living person convicted in that 1963 Birmingham murder, was up for parole next year. Age 82, he died — last month — in an Alabama prison.
CONVERSATION. Gloria: “With this planet’s current miseries, feels like God is getting angry with us.” Sharon: “Yeah. Like She’s really pissed off.”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.