GO BIG OR GO HOME
‘Marriage or Mortgage: whether to have a big wedding or buy a house
CHOOSING whether to have a wedding or a home can be fraught with challenges for couples — so here comes “Marriage or Mortgage.” Premiering Wednesday on Netflix, the reality show follows different couples in the Nashville area as they try to decide whether to allot a certain sum of money (such as $20,000) towards their big day — or towards a house.
On either side of the spectrum there’s wedding planner Sarah Miller, who tries to guide the couples towards the former, while real estate agent Nichole Holmes dangles the choice of a mortgage and a new home.
“I get it. [Choosing the wedding option] is romantic, it’s adorable. I am not made of stone,” Holmes, 46, told The Post.
“However, what’s not romantic and adorable is paying rent for the first 12 years of your marriage. How romantic is it to write a check for someone else’s mortgage every month? Think about that. You could be investing in your own future, not the landlord’s.”
In the series premiere, Nicholas, a firefighter, and Denise, a cheerleader-turned-recruiter, try to decide whether to spend $25,000 on a wedding or a house. Nicholas, who’s been previously married and has a 6-year-old daughter, wants his wedding to be an Elvisthemed affair (he and Denise have gone on many special dates to Graceland); Denise, meanwhile, is partial to a house with room for his daughter and any future kids they might have.
Another episode finds Cindy and Karla, a middle-aged lesbian couple who met later in life and dream of a “big fat gay wedding” — but they also want to live in a brand-new home.
“I love the diversity of the couples that we had — old couples, young, biracial couples, same-sex couples. I think there really is something [in the show] for everyone to be drawn to,” Holmes said. “We had some couples that
would come in knowing what they wanted, and Sarah and I would go in with one last bargaining chip to sway them and some of them totally went the opposite direction. There were certain couples who totally blew us away with their final decision.”
Holmes said that choosing the wedding option is a huge mistake.
“You cannot make money on a wedding. To spend [that much money] for 10 or 12 hours of fun just doesn’t make sense to me. Don’t get me wrong, I am not antimarriage, I am not anti-love.”
In the show, the couples meet with both Miller and Holmes to lay out their preferences for a wedding (such as Elvis-inspired decor, for Denise and Nicholas) and their preferences for a home (including the number of bedrooms). Miller then brings them to see venues, dresses and food and alcohol samplings that fit their wedding budget, while Holmes shows them homes in their price range.
Episodes culminate in “decision day,” in which the couples meet with Miller and Holmes and announce whether they’ve elected to drop their cash on one big day — or on their future dwelling.
Holmes said that she’s been married twice before, and the first one was “the big shebang.”
“My father said, ‘Are you sure you don’t want a down payment on a home? Really think about this.’ But I had to have my special day. Did I live to regret that? Absolutely! So I’m coming from a place of experience, here. I do not wish ill-will on any of these couples that chose marriage; obviously. I just think if they have to make that decision, if they can’t do both, the smartest one is to set themselves up financially for the future. A home is generally your largest asset that you’ll ever own.”