EQUAL TIME WASTE NOT, WANT NOT
HAD TO replay it twice to believe I heard it. How could someone — anywhere in public, let alone on national TV — say such a thing?
Monday, during the SeattleW ashington game, WFT running back Antonio Gibson collided with Seahawks defensive back D.J. Reed. They collided at full speed, leading with their shoulders but their helmets coming together, producing an audible and familiar smacking sound, often preface to brain trauma including the lasting kind football produces, perhaps even for both men.
The frightful sounding hit occurred along the sideline near Seattle’s collapsible concussion protocol tent.
Still, ESPN’s Brian Griese, a former QB, said what he perhaps thought what a hip and desensitized audience wanted to hear:
“God, I love that sound. Ooo, do I love that sound!”
Griese couldn’t believe what he had just said, could he? He loves the sound of heads colliding at top speed?
Do TV’s sports executives ever consider how detached their productions have become from sensible viewers? How the insufferable are shoved down our better senses?
Saturday’s Ohio State-Michigan game needed no pregame hype from any “special” Fox guest star this side of Woody Hayes. Its traditional appeal this year was padded by teams in 10-1 ascendance.
Yet, what would Ohio State-Michigan be without the appearance of Alex Rodriguez?
Rodriguez starred in a lengthy, forced-laughs standup with the legion of studio show analysts Fox mindlessly dispatched to appear on site as a ridiculous sales additive.
Fox and ESPN operate under the firm conviction that all of America’s sports fans love Rodriguez, when I’d submit that most can’t stand him.
Most see and hear him as a transparent, first-class phony, a gladhanding, back-slapping, double talking creep who twice cheated and lied his way to drug-enabled fame and fortune, then was quickly engaged by the unscrupulous folks who think they know what viewers most enjoy.
Or are we to think that upon Rodriguez’s appearance Saturday, shouts were issued throughout the country: “Hey, Junior! Come a-runnin’! Fox has A-Rod on its football pregame show!”
I’d instead guess that most looked on with disgust, that Fox, like ESPN, was again trying to sell us Rodriguez as must-see, must hear superstar when he’s widely regarded as a dishonest, disreputable athlete and a cad.
The game was a good one, in spite of Fox’s usual annoying excesses.
Analyst Joel Klatt again noted that the key for the offenses was “to move the chains,” while defenses plotted “to get off the field.”
And as the Michigan home crowd erupted in delight, Gus Johnson, another whom Fox believes we all love, repeatedly tried to scream over it to tell us how deliriously happy they were — as if we needed the explanations.
The on-site halftime show this time included no fewer than six panelists, all with nothing worth hearing, when they could be heard.
The third quarter began with sideline reporter Jenny Taft rehashing what “I asked” and what both coaches “said to me,” as if she’d landed exclusive interviews with both in the middle of such a game. We know by now that such access is bought and paid for.
And, as always, TV rewarded the wrong people for the wrong reason.
With 8:30 left in the game and Michigan up, 35-20, Ohio State wide receiver Chris Olave made a catch then rose, and despite the score and circumstances, made a self-smitten “No. 1!” gesture with an index finger.
Naturally, such an indiscriminate all-about-me display quickly became a slo-mo replay — again, as if America watches football primarily to enjoy selfish, post-play acts.
On ESPN, the laughable: three seconds were left in North Carolina at North Carolina State. Down four, UNC had the ball deep in State territory, one play left to score a TD.
Yet ESPN chose to maintain its thick, distracting, colorized, computerized field-goal estimate line atop live play, as if UNC would attempt to lose by only one!
Also on ESPN, the “big rivalry game” between Florida State and Florida, schools for decades infamous for recruiting and producing semi-literate criminals as “studentathletes.”
Predictably, lots of fights, flags, sideline hassles, ugly group scenes ensued. Offsetting penalties for unsportsmanlike conduct ruled the lawlessness.
But on ESPN, clueless Mark Jones and new analyst Robert Griffin III knew who was at fault: the officials!
Come on, it’s a rivalry game, they rationalized; let ’em enjoy it, they’re just expressing “their passion and emotion.” So suspend the rules! Turn very bad scenes into much worse!
Sunday, Fox again stuck New York with ex-ESPN yak box Mark Schlereth, who called Eagles-Giants by delivering whistle-to-snap speeches after every play, eventually and again sounding like a leaf blower. But Fox thinks we love such analysts.
Schlereth opened with a self-indictment: The Giants must give Saquon Barkley “20 total touches.” Not 18, not, 17, but 20. As if the game is played in a vacuum, just get it to Barkley 20 times — even on fourthand-punt, whatever it takes.
He was right! On 17 “touches,” Barkley didn’t do much. He needed three more touches!
This Sunday on Fox for Giants Dolphins, New York is stuck with Daryl “Moose” Johnston, now in his 20th year of destroying NFL telecasts with untreated filibusters. But Fox execs know best. From Alex Rodriguez to Moose Johnston, they know who and what we love!