Forging you own path
A life coach explains how to take charge of your futur
SOMEONE with a speech defect certainly makes for an unlikely professional speaker for a living, huh? That’s the reality for life coach and speaker Bethany Clemenson, whose struggles were highlighted in 2010 when she went to a doctor for an inner ear issue, only to walk out with a stunning diagnosis.
“As part of the routine exam, he had me stick my tongue out. He then had me make several movements with my tongue and asked if I had ever been in speech therapy. I told him that I spent years [there],” recalled Clemenson, noting that the doctor then shared with her that she had complete nerve paralysis on half of her tongue.
“Suddenly everything made sense. I had always wondered why I had so many problems speaking. I often felt embarrassed leaving class for speech and felt that others thought I was stupid,” she said. “The conversation with the ENT was a gift. They say knowledge is power and I felt a sense of pride for working hard to overcome my speech deficit.”
It’s this kind of grit that has led Clemenson to follow an unusual and affirming path. She started out as a registered nurse, working for more than 20 years in everything from pain management to the emergency room.
The author of “Ditching the Dream: How to Live Life on Your Terms” (Finn-Phyllis Press) then began work in senior living in 2007 as the director and nurse for a new seniors’ community.
As the years passed, Clemenson began feeling there was more for her out there.
“I felt stuck, and began working with a life coach who helped me understand how I had the power to change my story at any time,” she said. “My life began to change in big ways. I got a promotion I had always wanted, which led to more opportunities and I eventually left the company I had worked with for many years.”
The life coach then asked Clemenson to be part of his company, and she received her first coaching certification. She continued her career in senior living while coaching as a side-hustle.
But despite her six-figure executive job overseeing a $45 million portfolio, Clemenson felt stuck. She began asking herself, “Did I have to climb the corporate ladder just because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do?” A firm “no” was the answer. “This new way of thinking led to conversations with my family about all kinds of things, she said.
In 2017, when Clemens on attended the International Maxwell Conference, a chance encounter with a fellow mom in the registration line became her aha moment.
“The woman shared with me how she and her husband had rented out their home for six months and travthroughout eled Europe with their kids. one conversation shifted my perspective on what was possible for me and my family. I went home and talked to my husband about what that could look like for us,” said Clemenson.
So, “my family and I sold most everything we owned, bought a motorhome and traveled the US on an adventure designed by our two teens. During our travels, I kept seeing my private coaching clients and when our travels were over, I made my side-hustle my full-time career,” said Clemenson, who now lives between Wisconsin and Florida.
To manage this, Clemenson created online programs and courses, took on more private coaching clients and pursued speaking opportunities. Fast-forward to today and her business is thriving, and she has even carved out a niche in consulting work in senior living to fulfill that passion.
When Clemenson began working in senior living, she had to speak publicly about the facility and do marketing presentations on a regular basis. At school, she had worked hard to be able to be understood but was “incredibly self-conscious about speaking” due to her difficulty.
“Initially I was anxious about it, but the more I spoke, the more I loved it. I got to share things that helped people, and it was rewarding,” she said. “What we believe about what is possible for us has a direct impact on our ability to accomplish the things we want.”
Ready to make your own move? Clemenson stressed that we often create our own barriers with self-limiting beliefs. To overcome this, here are some things she recommends.
Be open to possibility
Ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” Ask this question about everything and then answer honestly to get clear on what you desire. “Asking this helped open me up to possibility and get clear about what I wanted,” Clemenson said.
In my ook, I write out how that uestion made me ealize how many hings I did out of habit r because I watched my arents or friends do hem instead of because wanted to.”
Don’t be negative
When you notice yourself thinking that you can’t do something, ask yourself if it’s true. Can you prove the negative beliefs or are they simply something you believe to be true?
“If you can’t prove it then you know it’s a belief that’s blocking you, and then you can choose what you want to believe instead,” she said.
Expand your circle
Surround yourself with people who are doing the things and have the attributes you want.
“Look at your circle of friends, and ask yourself if they represent where you are going. If not, start expanding your circle,” said Clemenson. “You can do this by looking in your community for people you want to know better and ask them to connect over coffee.”
Always learn
Another way you can expand your circle is by reading books and listening to podcasts. “My life has been profoundly impacted by books like ‘Daring Greatly’ by Brené Brown, ‘The Happiness Equation’ by Neil Pasricha and ‘Untamed’ by Glennon Doyle,” she said.
It’s OK to want what you want
“People won’t understand your dreams and desires and that’s OK,” said Clemenson, noting she experienced this when trading her conventional life for the motorhome. “Be with people who celebrate you, not tolerate you, and remember that just because someone doesn’t understand or disagrees with you doesn’t mean you’re wrong.”
Bottom line: “Your barriers are your barriers because you allow them to be,” said Clemenson. “Behind every barrier is opportunity but only if you decide to see it that way.”