Star’s new De Nir-low
ROBERT De Niro hasn’t made a decent comedy in years — a flurry of big paychecks in exchange for humorless cinematic crapola. The drought of yuks, however, is over, though it’s not coming to a theater near you.
It’s unfolding this week in a Manhattan courtroom as the A-list actor faces off in an absurd civil trial against his former longtime personal assistant, Graham Chase Robinson, over back scratches and air miles — with the backdrop of a simmering catfight between the women in De Niro’s life.
As a bonus, it includes a few plugs for bingeable classic shows.
Even De Niro’s attorney acknowledged in court that, “This trial is going to be a little bit like a movie.’’
And it’s already given the focus group, otherwise known as the jury, some decent chuckles, according to observers.
Star suit twist
Usually in cases like this, it’s the celebrity getting sued (think Lizzo being accused of taking her dancers to a sex show and fat-shaming them).
This time it’s De Niro, via his company, doing the suing.
In 2019, the Oscar-winning actor sued Robinson, his assistant of 11 years, alleging she raided company coffers for Ubers and floral arrangements, took his airline miles without permission and binge-watched “Friends” and “Schitt’s Creek” during work hours.
She countersued, saying he was the boss from hell, alleging sexual and workplace harassment.
According to Robinson, the Hollywood legend asked Robinson to scratch his back, cracked jokes about his Viagra use, called her twice during her grandmother’s funeral because, well, he wanted her to book a ticket for his son, and made her Uber him a martini from Nobu at 11 p.m., one of the many round-the-clock requests he regularly made.
Yes, it’s as petty and entertaining as the sensational Gwyneth Paltrow trial — minus the parade of shoppable high fashion.
In an explosive moment while on the stand, he copped to asking for her to personally relieve the nagging itch on his back.
“OK, twice? You got me! I’m saying this is nonsense,” fumed a grouchy De Niro, 80.
“It was never done with any disrespect. Shame on you, Chase Robinson!”
Their working relationship ended when she quit in April 2019, and their relationship, she said, took a nosedive when she tried to negotiate a two-year severance, asking for health care, and even a press release announcing her departure.
But according to testimony and court papers, frictions first started when his new girlfriend Tiffany Chen entered the picture in 2018.
“She thinks she’s your wife and I’m tired of her rearranging things and throwing my stuff on the floor in chaos whenever she decides she wants to be the ‘lady of the house’ it’s very bizarre and it really has to stop,” Chen texted, according to court papers.
‘Work wife’ tensions
But it was De Niro, Robinson claimed, who had made her his “work wife.”
De Niro for his part, who since 2016 has been on a self-important “I hate Donald Trump” media tour, comes across as rather Trumpy: self-centered and lacking in selfcontrol.
During his testimony on Tuesday, De Niro conceded that he called Robinson “petulant,” “snippy” and a “f--king spoiled brat.”
“The whole case is nonsense, it’s ridiculous. I wanted my things back, that’s all I’m asking. Return my things, return my air miles. Enough is enough. I wanted her to do it in reason — not take 5 million miles.”
The indignity of the “Taxi Driver” star — who according to his ex-wife, was worth half a billion — dragging his former assistant to court, to betray his privacy and whine about air miles.
It’s almost as bad as making “Dirty Grandpa” or whatever Jada Smith is currently doing.