HOW KATE TOLD KIDS
And how you should tell yours, experts
Kate Middleton revealed she gently informed her three children of her cancer diagnosis in an “appropriate way” — and reassured them that she is “going to be OK.”
In a video message, the Princess of Wales said she needed time to share the news of her condition with Prince George, 10, Princess Charlotte, 8, and Prince Louis, 5, before telling the world.
“It’s such a difficult thing to explain to any family member but most especially children,” Dr. Karen E. Knudsen, the CEO of the American Cancer Society, told The Post.
“It’s a really challenging thing to disclose to them. I think it’s a highly personal disclosure.”
Cancer is the second leading cause of death in the United States. In 2024, new cancer diagnoses in the US are expected to top 2 million for the first time and over 611,000 cancer-related deaths are projected, according to the American Cancer Society.
Knudsen said the ACS provides “guidance for individuals to talk to their family members and caregivers” since “seeking counseling support, psychosocial support for families has been shown to be very helpful in these types of scenarios.”
When do I tell my child someone they love has been diagnosed with cancer?
“It’s important for communication with children to be done in a timely manner,” Elizabeth Farrell, lead clinical social worker at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, told The Post.
She recommends having a conversation “as soon as you have the information, you’ve had a little bit of time to absorb it yourself and you’ve been able to get clarity around what’s going on, what it’s going to entail and the treatment of your cancer.”
Farrell suggests trying to tell kids at home when they have time and space to process. A Friday afternoon is preferable to allow them as much time as possible before returning to school.
What do I tell my child?
Dr. Kendra Parris of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital told The Post that conversations with kids depend on their “age, developmental level, personality and ability to cope.”
“Young children typically need information that is more concrete and basic, and discussions with younger children may be briefer. Older children and teenagers have often heard about cancer before but may still harbor misconceptions,” she explained.
Farrell added, “It’s helpful if you already know what the plan looks like so that you can sort of prepare a little bit.”
She advises parents to say: “Here’s what we know. Here’s what’s happening. Here’s what the plan is going to look like, and here’s how it’s going to impact you directly.”
But don’t stay too scripted. Allow your child to guide the conversation with their questions.
“I think we all have ideas about
what our kids would want to know, but then often can be surprised by what actually is most on their mind,” Farrell noted.
How often do I update my child?
Children should be updated on any major changes to the treatment plan or prognosis, and encouraged to come to you with questions.
“Let them know that the first conversation isn’t going to be the only time you have a conversation,” Farrell advised.
Who else in my child’s life needs to know?
Experts note it’s important to involve your child’s teachers, guidance counselors and anyone in their inner circle. “They can be another set of eyes for you and be mindful of what’s happening at home,” Farrell explained.
You should let your child know that they don’t have to keep the news a secret, and you can coordinate a time for them to check in with a counselor or psychologist.
Is it ever appropriate to not tell your children?
Experts agree that you should let your child know unless you have a child with a disability that would prohibit them from properly processing this information.
“Children are very perceptive and will be able to tell that something is wrong,” Parris said. “By providing open and honest communication with your children, you can prevent them from jumping to wrong conclusions . . . and equip children with the information they need to effectively cope.”