When life gives you lemons, make lemon pie for old dad
jy faith in our youth has been renewed and all it took was some whipped lemon pie.
pee, at some point, I turned into my dad. I’ve had teenagers in the house for many years now, and my opinions about the youngsters include typical dad stuffW Cut that silly looking hair, pull up your dadgummed pants, turn down that loud music and for crying out loud stay off my lawn Epicture me standing on the front porch shaking my fisW). OK, DQd LI you are entertaining the ridiculous notion that you’d like to date any of my daughters, just don’t. I will break off your right arm and stick it in your ear and you’ll be forced to get a job at the circus as The Amazing Left-handed Jamoke Who OQFe HDd A 5eDlly BDd ,deD About Dating.
This attitude, of course, makes me the perfect guy to host a teen party at my house Eall together now, eye roll), ZKLFK Ls ZKDW happened last weekend. DDuJKWer oI BloQde AFcountant decided to have a belated birthday party. A few days before the shindig, I was on Dad Taxi Duty and had picked up Daugh- Wer oI BloQde AFFouQWDQW and a young fellow at the mall with plans to drop him off at his house.
The conversation in the back seat between the teens turned to the upcoming party, and voung Dude chimed in that he was planning on bringing a whipped lemon pie to the party that he would make himself.
OI Fourse ZKeQ I heard the word “pie” my ears perked up, and I tilted my head a bit like a dog that had just heard an odd noise. I interjected myself into the conversation in typical dad fashion.
“Hey 6SDrNy, you FDQ’W come inside my house on 6DWurdDy uQless , JeW WKe firsW piece of that whipped lemon pie,” I said. The words were a little more polite than that when they came out of my mouth, but you get the idea. And so did he.
Consequently, he quickly agreed to the deal. I assume it was because he realized I was using my best “jake him an offer he couldn’t refuse” dad voice. pmart kid.
The party on paturday was scheduled to start at 7 p.m., so QDWurDlly WKe firsW WeeQDJer showed up at 6W05 p.m. In my book, that’s an automatic ejection for not having a working wristwatch, but The BloQde AFFouQWDQW LQWerFeded and wouldn’t allow me to give the young jamokette the heave-ho.
OQe-Ey-oQe, WKe WeeQs Drrived, some dressed in what looked to me like ballerina costumes. Turns out we were hostLQJ D WKePed SDrWy ― WLDrDs DQd WuWus ― DQd QoEody JDYe Pe a heads up on that, which explains why I didn’t have a clean tutu to wear for the occasion. A disappointment for the teenagers, I’m sure.
And then, the Kid miemaker showed up, and he was indeed bearing gifts — the previously promised ZKLSSed lePoQ SLe. BeIore I could do a face dive right LQWo WKe SLe, 7Ke BloQde Accountant grabbed it and headed for the refrigerator. Hey, Key, Key! :KDW JLYes?
Apparently the kids were firsW KDYLQJ SLzzD, FKLSs, snacks and other assorted party foods, and the pie was for desserW. PKooey. 6LQFe ZKeQ? I make the rules here and I say Ze sWDrW ZLWK WKe SLe firsW.
Well, that was wrong. I don’t make the rules and pie is last. That is what we call LQ Py Kouse 7Ke BloQde AFcountant Way of jaking je DQ OIIer , CDQ’W 5eIuse.
At the risk of having to go join the circus and have people refer to me as “Lefty,” I had to sit there for the next few hours behaving myself and listen to loud music coming out of my basement while that whipped lemon pie was calling my name from the refrigerator.
bventually, we got to mie Time and I invoked the “I AP 7Ke DDd 5ule,” ZKLFK clearly states that I get to be firsW LQ lLQe Ior ZKLSSed lePon pie. vou can look it up.
And let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, this pie was Wo dLe Ior. OK Py JosK, oK Py gosh, oh my gosh. Turns out that Kid miemaker is some kind of super-talented young baker, and he has quite a reputation among the teenagers as such.
Well, that changes everyWKLQJ. He Ls QoZ DlloZed Wo PDrry DDuJKWer oI BloQde Accountant and he is welcome to live with us and make me pies all the time. Welcome to the family, son. I am seriously considering adding a second kitchen to my house just for him.
This pie was so good that by sheer talent alone, Kid miemaker made everyone else in the group that evening look good, and he renewed my faith in young, talented people. As an added bonus, he had a nice haircut, wore his pants around his waist and not below his hind end, and walked down the driveway and not on my lawn on his way out.
This is a good lesson for today’s youthW When life gives you lemons, make whipped lemon pie for me. Then you don’t have to go join the circus.
Mike Morsch is executive editor of Montgomery Media and author of the book, “Dancing in My Underwear: The Soundtrack of My Life.” He can be reached by calling 215-5420200, ext. 415 or by email at msquared35@yahoo.com. This column can also be found at www.montgomerynews.com.