UP YOUR NOSE

Far less felicitous than the multi-faceted Laugh-in or Pee Wee’s Playhouse, but somehow still amusing, is the single-minded SNOOTS, a 1989 trading card product from Continental Candy Company. Largely available overseas and in Canada, the SNOOTS wrapper stated the set’s entire premise, “Crazy Collector Cards You Wear on Your Nose.”

The 81-card set is divided into several categories. The first 30 cards depict SNOOTS Nose Kids. Each card features a cartoon-like portrait with a nose shaped cutout designed for children to substitute their nose for the nose of the character portrayed on the card front. Card backs relay a short bio and name for the personality of the obverse, as well as a card number. Appropriately humorous names such as The Picker, Brace Face and Buzzard Breath adorn the cards.

SNOOTS Nosimals cover cards 31-55, with a Q&A joke on the back of each one. SNOOTS Nosy Bodies are next, depicting persons of various professions and walks of life like Nosetradamus (for the reputed seer), Count Nostrila (for the nosy vampire), and Roman Nose (for Julius Sneezer). The set closes with a checklist on card 81. Even that card has a cutout for the nose. Each pack contains five cards and one stick of bubble gum and is truly nothing to sneeze at.