Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
MONEY MANNERS
DEAR JEANNE AND LEONARD: I gave my cousin, who was flying to the East Coast, $1,600 in cash to deliver to my parents. After he got there, “Raj” called and told me a pickpocket had stolen his wallet and the money was gone. His attitude seemed to be that he’d been doing me a favor by carrying the cash and the stolen money wasn’t his problem. I think Raj ought to repay me at least some of the money, since he couldn’t have been very careful with it if a pickpocket could rob him like that. Should I pursue this? — P.L.
DEAR P. L.: So what was wrong with a check?
OK, you had your reasons for sending cash. But unless you have some basis for believing Raj was extremely irresponsible — or is lying about the pickpocket — you don’t have a leg to stand on in asking him to reimburse you. The guy’s your cousin, not a professional courier. Sorry, but as the saying goes, you get what you pay for.
DEAR JEANNE AND LEONARD: I believe my daughter is living beyond her means. When I tell “Teri” that I’m worried about this, she says that everything’s fine and that I just don’t understand how people her age live. But when I was visiting her recently, I came across some bank statements and credit- card bills that confirmed my worst fears. Should I confront Teri with what I found and insist that we have a serious talk about the financial hole she is digging
for herself? — Maureen
DEAR MAUREEN: Slow down, Sherlock. Your daughter has a right to some privacy. Whatever information you uncovered, you obviously weren’t intended to have access to it, and you should have resisted the urge to check it out. So no, you shouldn’t confront your daughter with your new knowledge. You should feel embarrassed that you were snooping.
We understand: You’re concerned about your daughter, and you believe you have proof that you’re right and she’s wrong. But if you want Teri to listen to you, don’t begin by revealing that you can’t be trusted when left alone in her home.
DEAR JEANNE AND LEONARD: My local supermarket (a big chain) is always hitting up its customers for charitable donations. Once your purchases have been rung up, the
cashier asks if you’d like to round the tab up to the next dollar and donate the difference to whatever pet cause the store happens to be sponsoring at the time. I say “no,” because I already give plenty of money to charities. But it makes me look cheap, which I hate. What should I do the next time a cashier puts me on the spot like this? — Judy
DEAR JUDY: Don’t let him get that far. When he starts to ring up your purchases, tell him — nicely, of course — that you have your own charities and you will not be making a donation to the store’s.
That’s Step 1. Next, track down the store manager and tell him how much you disapprove of the practice of pressuring customers to contribute to the store’s charity du jour. Remind him that there are lots of other places to shop for groceries, places that don’t put the squeeze on their customers when the customers go to pay. Plus, if you have the time, send the company’s chief executive officer a letter saying the same thing. If we were you, we’d also be telling him that we’re offended by a policy under which the customer makes the donation, the business gets the charitable deduction and the CEO gets the big “Thank You” plaque from the charity.
In the meantime, don’t worry about looking cheap because you’re saying “no.” You’re doing your community a service by letting other patrons see a fellow customer refuse to be pressured. Just be sure to be pleasant to the cashiers. After all, the panhandling wasn’t their idea.