Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
Pumpkin spice craze gets scary
We’re nearing the end of DST (that’s daylight saving time).
Which means it’s time for PSL (that’s pumpkin spice latte season).
Which means it’s also time for PSY, PSB and PSMM (that’s pumpkin spice yogurt, pumpkin spice beer and pumpkin spice M&M’s season).
If that doesn’t prove food and beverage companies are out of their gourd with seasonal squash overload, consider these three words : Pumpkin Spice Pringles. Yes, canned pump- tato crisps are a Wal-Mart “exclusive,” which we guess means no one else wanted them. ( If you try them, let us know. We still have a chip on our shoulder from sampling those Cappuccino Lay’s gimmick chips.)
The “pump” and circumstance began even earlier this year when Starbucks baristas began brewing the company’s best-selling seasonal drink in late August. Ever since, a seedy parade of pumpkin products has been making its way to supermarket and even liquor store shelves. Available now: Pumpkin Spice Chobani Greek Yogurt. It’s part of a complete breakfast along with Pumpkin Pie Pop Tarts, Thomas’ Pumpkin Spice Bagels and Pumpkin Spice Philadelphia Cream Cheese.
Pumpkin Spice Eggo Waffles. Leggo this obsession, Eggo!
Pumpkin Spice Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies, Pepperidge Farm Pumpkin Cheesecake cookies and Pumpkin Spice Oreos. Totally cookie-cutter ideas.
Pumpkin Spice Extra gum and Trident Layers Pumpkin Spice gum. They’re sugar free so you won’t look like a jack-o’-lantern on your quest for pumpkiny fresh breath.
Bath & Body Works Pumpkin Spice Latte, Pumpkin Latte & Marshmallow, Pumpkin Cinnamon Bun, Pumpkin Apple, Pumpkin Cupcake, Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin and Pumpkin Pecan Waffles hygiene and home products. Because what woman doesn’t want her skin and sanctuary’s sexy signature scent to be “Hallmark Store meets Waffle House”?
Pumpkin Spice Mallows JetPuffed Marshmallows. Please no s’more of those.
Spiced Pumpkin Pecan Blue Bell Ice Cream. To make your Pillsbury Perfectly Pumpkin cake
or Duncan Hines Pumpkin Spice cupcakes or pie of Jell-O Instant Pumpkin Spice Pudding a la mode.
Pumpkin Spice Kahlua and Pumpkin Spice Burnett’s vodka. We’d have to be “pump”-drunk to even want to try them.
Pumpkin Spice Jif Whips peanut butter and Pumpkin Spice Planters almonds. Further proof that pumpkin-mania has gone completely nuts.
Pumpkin Spice Hershey’s Kisses and Ghirardelli Pumpkin Spice Caramel Squares. Pumpkin masquerading as chocolates? Such candy is all trick, no treat.
Enough pumpkin. Enough spice. Let’s move on to an autumnal alternative like caramel! Or apple! Or both!
Oh dear, it seems like some already have.
Caramel Apple Filled Twizzlers. Caramel Apple Milky Ways. Pinnacle Caramel Apple vodka. Caramel Apple Oreos (Target “exclu- sive”).
It seems that “CA” might have ambitions of becoming the new “PS.”
Quick somebody, squash it! I’d be pumped if you’d email:
Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture.