Christmas wishes for readers: Joy, safe travel, popcorn

A Christmas card from the Talk-mistress to you, my dear readers:

My wish is that your Christmas Day turkey, ham, duck, other roast beast or vegetarian/vegan dish is succulent, and that everybody at your home and table gets along. May you have been presented only the best of the green-bean casseroles at the parties and get-togethers … and no fruitcake whatsoever.

May your merry mood be maximal, your drinking be in moderation, your weight gain be minimal and the length of your relatives’ visit be just long enough.

If you are the one traveling to visit relatives and you’re flying, may your boarding passes be pre-printed, may the ticket counter line dwindle rapidly, may there be ample room to stow your carry-on bags, may you retain all feeling in your legs and feet and may your seat back be unkicked by any little poppets.

If you are traveling by car, may the miles go fast, the gas gauge take its time to dip and the rest-stop bathrooms be clean.

If you are traveling by bus … well … may God be with you. (And hey, if you’re traveling to spend your Christmas somewhere sunny, tropical and all island-y, well, pfffffffft. Still love ya, though.)

May you actually, like in real life, have carolers come to your home. Or may you have found somewhere to park if you decided to go and hear the choirs caroling in the state Capitol rotunda.

My wish is that your young child will not watch the movie A Christmas Story and then go and take stuff out of the freezer and tongue it to see what happens.

May the movie- theater lines be short, the seats be comfy and the popcorn be buttery if you decide to spend Christmas night catching the debut of Joy or Concussion, or

catching up on Star Wars or Alvin and the Chipmunks.

My wish is that you have escaped any “Dirty Santa” parties this season and therefore won’t be grumbling for months to come after having a desirable gift demanded of you by another participant. My wish is also that you have not been bonked on the head by a basketball-size Christmas ornament falling from one of those gazillion-foot-tall atrium Christmas trees.

May your dog be minding his manners around your Christmas tree, and may Grandma not be run over by a reindeer.

May the little ones in your life be happy with their gifts, and may you receive gifts you actually wanted. (Judging from the long-range weather forecast as this column went to press, rain gear for a moderate climate would be right on time.)

Best wishes indeed on benefiting from the after-Christmas sales and — if you didn’t get the gifts you wanted — making those returns.

May you not be a victim of karma and get back that gift that you re-gifted several years ago.

May there be no coal in your stocking, literal or figurative. But more so, may you be captured by the spirit of giving … your love, your time and other resources — to as many souls as you can reach, every day of the year.

Finally, my wish is that you don’t, to borrow from Pope Francis, let yourselves “be overcome by weariness” over all the violence going on in America and the world. Don’t let all the other yuckiness, whether it be economic, political, educational, relational — or yes, spiritual — take you down into the depths of that weariness. Don’t give up. There is still joy to be had. There is still joy to be spread.

And whatever changes are going on in your life, may you benefit from them or overcome them. If you keep in mind the reason for the season, this particular wish will be reality.