Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
Survivor finds purpose, supports others’ healing
The volunteer opportunity came looking for Alison Nail, not the other way around.
As a survivor of years of sexual assault by a family member and the victim of a rape while in college, Nail was asked to contribute her story in the form of a personal essay to “Thank God I,” an anthology about the good that eventually can come from tragic situations.
It took two years to write a few pages about those harrowing experiences, but when she was done, the Rape Abuse and Incest Network invited her to be a public advocate. Nail said, “Absolutely.”
“Part of that role included getting connected with local resources that help individuals who have been sexually assaulted and be a public voice for them,” Nail says. “I’d heard several things the Rape Crisis Center was doing for people — like that they were connected to the Child Advocacy Center — but it took some time to think about what I wanted to do [for them].”
Being a voice and taking a stance for victims of sexual abuse was right in line with the story
Nail wrote about her experiences. Without those awful circumstances, she may not have developed the “superhero complex” she gained in escaping it and trying to protect others, like her little brother and sister, to prevent the same thing from happening again.
“That experience helped me become this person,” Nail says. “My story in particular has given me not a superpower [exactly], but I always feel like I’ve got to right the wrongs.”
In recovering, she turned to therapists for help in coping and moving on. The process helped her find her voice, realize who she was and what her life’s purpose is — to support and help others. When there’s a cause worth getting behind, Nail says she throws herself into it 100 percent without worries about what her employer or peers think of it.
“Had that [abuse] not happened, I don’t know that it would have come out that way,” she says.
While getting situated as a volunteer presence for the Northwest Arkansas Rape Crisis Center, Nail assumed she would be among those answering the calls made to the 24 hour hotline, which was once its main service to the public — a trusted listening ear for victims of rape, whether shortly after
the event or years later.
In addition to the all-hours hotline, the Northwest Arkansas Rape Crisis Center provides a safe and nurturing environment for rape kit testing and forensic exams, one-on-one counseling, support groups and education for community partners, like the “Bar Stander” program that trains bartenders to recognize and intervene in an unsafe situation.
She completed the training for the hotline but realized that hearing others’ experiences and struggles was too close to home for her at this point. She instead sought other ways to stay involved.
“I didn’t know that I could do that yet, but I thought, ‘What else can I do?’” Nail says. “I can talk about it.”
Unafraid to talk about rape and sexual abuse openly, Nail began conducting educational classes about the uncomfortable topic that many shy away from. One session was a sit-in on the University of Arkansas campus where both sororities and fraternities were in the same room, which made for an interesting give-and-take on the issue from varying perspectives.
“They asked some really great questions, and they felt comfortable enough to have that conversation, which inspired me even more,” Nail says.
From the boys came questions about why a girl would say “No,” if she really didn’t mean it and why others would seem to agree to intercourse if that’s not what they truly wanted. The girls mostly were concerned about how an experience affected her relationships with romantic partners and family, since one of her abusers was a family member.
“Several girls came and talked to me afterward about their [own sexual assault] experience, and for some of them it was the first time they had ever talked about it,” she says, clearly touched by that. “The guys thanked me for having the conversation with them because everyone is afraid to talk about it.
“That empowered and inspired me to move through my fear and my own [discomfort] because if I don’t talk about it, who’s going to?”
Seeing young adults learn and appreciate the perspective
of victims seemed to make it worth sharing her own journey and reinforced that her role is as listener and supporter. Nail considers it an honor to hear them out. Each one shows her that her volunteerism matters.
It’s inspired “me to have really interesting conversations that are uncomfortable but are life changing,” Nail says. “When people share their experience and know that they’re totally supported unconditionally and that if I can get through it, they can get through it.”
Since then, Nail became a member of the board of directors and can be found running the center’s social media sites, conducting other educational classes and finding in-kind donations (the center accepts clothes and health and beauty products for victims who have to leave their clothes behind when given rape kit testing). She also helps generate manpower for its fundraising events, such as the upcoming “It’s No Joke,” a night of comedy on April 1 in support of the center’s services.
Nail is a constant for the organization because “they provide a resource that makes it easy as it can possibly be to heal from [sexual assault],” she says. “All of the things they do are components to a person’s healing.”