Shake, rattle and roll

Hearing about the shooting at an American baseball field on Flag Day, June 14, I was reminded of a nursery rhyme: “Tweedledum and Tweedledee agreed to have a battle; for Tweedledum said Tweedledee had spoiled his nice new rattle. Just then flew down a monstrous crow, as black as tar-barrel; which frightened both the heroes so, they quite forgot their quarrel.”

Perhaps this coming July 4, televised “breaking news” will be the live reporting of a five-course dinner party, hosted by four couples whose last names (in alphabetical order) are Clinton, Kaine, Pence, and Trump.

Dinner entertainment will be provided by the other 2016 presidential candidates, who will sing “America the Beautiful,” “God Bless America,” “My Country Tis of Thee,” and “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

Dessert will be served by disabled veterans, foster children, rehabilitated prisoners, and survivors of domestic violence, homelessness, and human trafficking, followed by viewing of a documentary on good sportsmanship-like conduct.

Background music at dismissal will be provided by a local high school band playing “Fanfare for the Common Man.”

(P.S. A friendly reminder on the invitation list will read: “No cellular devices, firecrackers, recording devices, or pie-throwing allowed at table.”) LINDA L. SCISSON

Little Rock