Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
MONEY MANNERS
Editor’s note: Jeanne Fleming and Leonard Schwarz are discontinuing the Money Manners column on March 31.
DEAR JEANNE AND LEONARD: My mother lives in an independent living facility, where one of the workers, “Sandra,” is particularly nice to her. Mom must have mentioned to Sandra that my wife and I are looking for a gardener, because Mom says Sandra wants us to hire her son for the job. Right now he’s working in the kitchen where Mom lives. But he wants to start his own landscaping service (he apparently has some experience as a gardener), and he’s trying to line up a few customers before he leaves his job. What should we do? We greatly appreciate Sandra’s kindness to my mother and would like to help her family. But we know nothing about her son, and fear that if we hired him and it didn’t work out, Mom’s relationship with Sandra would make it difficult to let him go.
— Concerned Son DEAR SON: It’s one thing to risk hiring an unqualified gardener; it’s quite another to risk upsetting someone who’s central to your mother’s care. So as nice as it would be to give Sandra’s son a chance, it seems unwise to put yourself in a position where you too easily could be forced to choose between retaining a worker with whom you’re dissatisfied or displeasing your mother’s caretaker.
Our suggestion: Tell Sandra you’re sorry, but you’ve already hired someone else. And tell your mother the same thing. You don’t want her worrying about having to lie to Sandra.
Our second suggestion: Tell your friends and neighbors about Sandra’s son. Maybe you can help him find work with people who, should they be unhappy with his performance, can let him go without worrying about the consequences.
A final suggestion: Don’t tell your mother the next time you’re looking for a service provider. Sandra’s son might not be an only child.
DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: My niece and her husband are eager to buy a home before they start a family. Unfortunately, they are $10,000 short of the down payment they need to qualify for a mortgage on a house they feel is perfect for them. So they’ve asked me if I’d be willing to give them a second mortgage for the $10,000. Specifically, they’ve proposed an eightyear, interest-only mortgage with a rate of 5 percent and a balloon payment due at the end of the eight years. Since these are honest, hardworking people and since 5 percent is a lot more interest than I can get anywhere else, I’m inclined to lend them the money. But first I’d like to know your thoughts.
— P.A. DEAR P.A.: Your niece and her husband’s character isn’t the only issue. When anyone asks you to give them a mortgage, you need to consider what you’d do if they were unable to make the payments. Specifically, are you prepared to foreclose, or would you be willing to treat the loan as a gift?
We know, your niece and her husband are honest, hardworking people. But honest, hardworking people aren’t immune to financial problems. Unforeseen misfortune can strike anyone. So before you make that $10,000 loan, think long and hard about how you’d feel and what you’d do if, for any reason, this nice couple told you they couldn’t pay you back.