Boyfriend’s chronic conditions prompt partner to weigh options

Dear Abby: I have been in a relationship for four years. My partner has fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis. When we met, he had just found out. He was still active, working, and we had sex regularly. He is now on disability, not working at all, we rarely sleep together and he never leaves the house. I love him, but I didn’t realize how hard this would be. I know he has a lot to cope with, but I have to work, do most of the chores and beg him to go out. We are only in our mid-20s. I feel like I’m already 80 years old. I don’t want to leave him, but I don’t want to live this way. Any advice would be helpful. — Bad Deal In The Midwest Dear Bad Deal: What a sad letter. You are both young, with many years ahead of you. You have a difficult decision. Because you feel you are not up to the challenge of taking care of him, it may be time to end the relationship. If you are staying out of obligation or pity, it isn’t fair to either of you.

Dear Abby: My mom is in the habit of using her bra as a pocket. When we go out the outline of what she is storing is noticeable. My friends and my sisters have noticed it and ask why she doesn’t use a purse.

Mom says it’s a convenient and safe place for her money and valuables. What do you think of this? — Not In There, Please

Dear Not: I have it on good authority that your mother is not the only woman who uses her bra as a pocket or filing cabinet. If it works for her, and she doesn’t mind people asking her why she does it, stop judging her.

Dear Abby: Fifteen years ago my sister-in-law and I had a mutual friend, “Barbie,” who told me something unflattering about my sisterin-law. My relationship with my sister-in-law has been fractured ever since. I have since severed my relations with this Barbie, but she is still good friends with my sister-in-law.

Recently, I have felt that I should let my sister-inlaw know how this woman betrayed her friendship. Should I tell my sister-in-law or leave it alone and let her find out for herself? — Going Nuts

Dear Going Nuts: If a friend of mine leaked personal information about me, I would want to know, wouldn’t you? Your sister-in-law is friendly with Barbie because she doesn’t know she can’t be trusted. Rather than tell your sisterin-law what you were told, approach it this way: “Is it true that ...?” And when she asks where you got such an idea, then tell her it’s what Barbie told you.