Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
Teen with older boyfriend keeps dangerously late hours
Dear Abby: My daughter is 19 and lives with me. She is seeing a 26-year-old man who has a child with another woman he didn’t marry.
When my daughter goes out with him, he keeps her out until 3:30 a.m. or later. I had a conversation with him, and he assured me he would make sure she is home before midnight, to no avail.
I don’t think he’s good for her. Should I forbid her from seeing him? We are not going to raise a baby out of wedlock! — Teen’s Dad Dear Dad: Your daughter is considered an adult even if she’s not acting like it. Tread carefully because if you forbid her to see this man, she may move in with him.
You have the right to make clear to her that if he gets her pregnant, she’ll be on her own. And while you’re at it, point out that her school or job will suffer if she continues the late hours. Remind her that what she’s doing is irresponsible. Then cross your fingers that she gets the message.
Dear Abby: My son has started doing bicycle training with a coach and some other cyclists, and he likes it a lot. But I continually hear about accidents with bicycles, and every time he goes, I am frightened for him.
My husband was a cyclist for many years, and he encourages him. I want to do the same, but fear stops me. What must I do? I pray every time he goes and surrender him to God. Is this the right way? — Fearful
Dear Fearful: A mother’s primary instinct is to protect her young. The problem is, parents can’t protect their children in every circumstance.
It’s a plus that your son is working with a coach, presumably one who understands the hazards and road conditions in your city. Under the circumstances, you are doing the best you can and you are doing the right thing. There is no requirement that you must encourage your son like his father.
I believe in the power of prayer, and if it makes you feel better, then it is absolutely the right thing to do.
Dear Readers: I’m honored to participate in National Women’s Health Week (May 13-19). Women are the primary caretakers in most societies. But we too often forget to take care of ourselves — by eating right, getting enough sleep, controlling our stress levels with regular exercise and scheduling regular checkups. Please don’t procrastinate. Start now! National Women’s Health Week is a perfect time to begin. Visit womenshealth. gov/nwhw for more information. — Love, Abby