A Generous Spirit

Parents, experts offer advice on inspiring kids to give back

Even when Micki Collett’s son Dante was only 22 months old, she was already thinking about ways to help him learn to love giving back to the community. “I wasn’t that into volunteering before I became a parent,” Collett says. “But when I was pregnant, people were so incredibly generous. My heart was so full, and I wanted to share that.” In 2014, her family started a new tradition during the holidays. They picked out 10 toys to donate to charity — an effort to teach Dante that despite society’s emphasis on wish lists and treats during the holiday season, it can be incredibly rewarding to give back to those in need. “I don’t want to raise him to be entitled,” Collett says. “I also think that you feel good when you help other people, and I want him to learn that.” Collett volunteers year-round at Dante’s school and at the Charleston Animal Society, South Carolina. She says she hopes that if her son sees her family’s dedication to service, it will make a lasting impression on him. While it’s easy to get stuck in the daily grind, Collett says she tries to spend time teaching her son “the values of life, instead of just going through the schedule.” Like Collett, many families are seeking ways to teach their kids the value of community service. Donating toys and clothes to children in need, collecting food to feed the hungry, and participating in charity walks are just some of the ways kids can help. While these activities can help little ones learn the importance of community service, you don’t have to spearhead a huge project to teach your children to love giving back, says Krystle Hunt, community volunteer program assistant for Trident United Way, North Charleston, S.C. If you pay attention, you might notice that your kids are already contributing in their own way, she says. “Depending on the ages of the children, that could be something like writing cards to their friends to let them know they appreciate them, or even sharing a smile with a stranger,” Hunt says. “These are ways to contribute to the community, too.” Parents who lead by example can also pique their kids’ interest in service. Pastor Wendy Hudson-Jacoby encourages parents to bring their kids along when volunteering, for instance. “We take our kids with us when we go and do something for the community,” such as visiting the home-bound or elderly, says Hudson-Jacoby, a a mother of three. Service is a big part of her church’s mission, and the congregation tries to include the church’s youngest members in community outreach projects, she added. “So often, kids are shuttled off to the side or told ‘when you grow up you can lead,’” Hudson-Jacoby says. “But we believe they ... have gifts and talents that they can use right now.” The Moore family shares a similar philosophy. Mom Marie Moore works and volunteers for the S.C. Department of Natural Resources. Dad Jonathon Moore works at the local Food Bank. The couple hopes that by bringing their son, Christian, along to help with volunteer activities, he’ll develop a love for giving back, too. “A lot of kids his age, they’re so ‘This is mine, you can’t have it,’ so bringing him with us to volunteer at the food bank has shown him that it’s good and fun to give to other people,” Marie Moore says. For busy families with full schedules, Hunt suggests incorporating giving into something you would do anyway. For instance, when planning extracurricular activities, consider having your kids volunteer with a local service organization after school. Or, during your child’s next birthday party, ask guests to skip buying presents and donate to a favorite cause instead, Hunt says. Another tactic for getting kids excited about service: Let them decide how to give back. A child who loves animals might want to donate supplies to an animal shelter, for instance. Or if your family plans to donate to a food bank, bring your child to the grocery store to pick out items to contribute, Hunt suggests. Eventually, you may find your children start suggesting ways to give back. HudsonJacoby had a proud moment recently when her then 6-year-old asked if they could go hand out care packages to the homeless. “We try to follow (the kids’) lead,” she said. “So, we packed up the car and went downtown to give out some bags.” Don’t forget to reward kids’ charitable efforts and help them see they made a difference. “When we write a check to charity, we get a tax deduction,” Hunt says. Kids need other means to acknowledge their contribution. Rewards could include taking before-and-after photos of their project to show progression, or creating a memento that will remind them of their accomplishment, she says. Parents should also talk with their kids about why community service is important. One way to start the conversation is by reading books about giving back. “The Giving Tree” and “One Hen: How One Small Loan Makes a Big Difference” are good examples, Hunt says. After reading, talk with your kids about how the stories made them feel, Hunt says. “The conversation is just as important as the action.”