New approach needed in bringing up children

Do you remember when adults were adults and children were children? Our country is experiencing a growing crisis related to children who are self-centered narcissists. Today, parents overindulge their children, telling them how wonderful and perfect they are. They teach their children self-love, which Dr. Jean Twenge, author of Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled, and More Miserable Than Ever, says may be bad for society. Children often argue and have tantrums when they don’t get their way. Parents give in because they don’t know what to do. Brad Bushman, Ohio State University, and Eddie Brummelman, post-doctoral researcher at Holland’s University of Amsterdam and Utrecht University, say narcissists tend to be more aggressive, more violent than other people and are at higher risk to drug addiction.

Children are now treated as coequals in the home, permitted to argue with parents to the point of negotiation or getting their way, a notion that has permeated society. In the Washington Post health column, Lenny Bernstein said, “Parents who overvalue their children during the developmental stage are more likely to raise a narcissistic child who will probably become narcissistic adults.”

Children permitted to argue and demand their way at home are more likely to do the same thing at school. To not upset these self-indulged students, teachers are instructed not to use the word “no” and many times natural consequences for misbehaving are not permitted. Teachers are trained to “pivot” away and “ignore” rudeness, and sometimes gross disrespect. This only empowers and enables the continued demonstration of these undesirable behaviors. Ask a teacher.

Today, large numbers of students disrupt classes and the learning of others. They are argumentative and demand grades they haven’t earned. The Aspen education group, a leading provider of educational and behavioral programs for struggling teens, reports there is grade inflation and the “C” became the new “F.” No longer does an “A” grade mean exceptional but instead is something that students feel they deserve and often demand, even when it hasn’t been earned. The intense sense of entitlement is described by a therapists at the Aspen Education Group as “I want it now! I have to have it right now!”

School districts now have difficulty getting substitute teachers because of a lack of respect and student consequences. Many will just not do it or will only substitute in certain schools. Schools often don’t have enough substitutes to cover all the empty classes and teachers have to cover classes during their planning periods.

The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette reported in September that enrollment in teacher education programs is down. However, teacher shortages in the state is mostly related to turnover. Starting with 2015, 40 states have reported shortages. The Arkansas Department of Education reported in 2017-18 that 60,317 people have teaching licenses but only 33,228 are certified.

Adults need to acknowledge this growing problem that has had an adverse effect on this country and draw a line, because enough is enough. TERRY STEWART Springdale