If the word fits …

Because the one thing this language needs is more words, here are a few just-forfun coined by Arkansas Democrat-Gazette staff members:

Conjuregation, con-jure-ga-tion, n., a spirit or ghost summoned for help when one wants to know which form of the verb “to lie” is appropriate.

“Use lay, laaaay,” the conjuregation moaned as the curtains thrashed in the window above the writer’s desk. “He lay in wait, he lies in wait, he will liiiie in waaaait.”

dammitify, dam-mit-i-fy, v., to punch up screenplay dialogue with curse words.

“Harry and Donna don’t sound angry enough,” the Suits producer told the writing staff. “Dammitfy this scene.”

doppeldanggers, dop-pel-dang-gers, n., people who use the same euphemism for a curse word.

“Oh, sugar!” doppeldanggers Kate and Nancy exclaimed as the cat dashed out the door between their feet.

remittense, re-mit-tense, adj., how it feels to hope the check will clear the bank.

“After making it payable to Internal Revenue Service, she slowly wrote in the terrifying amount, signed, mailed the missive and then

watched the post office box for two remittense weeks.”

oblitterate, ob-lit-ter-ate, v., to kick cat litter all over the floor, as an overly diligent cat might.

“Pookie has just oblitterated my grandmother’s throw rug,” she said.

percenticate, per-cent-i-cate, v., to employ nonsensical percentages

“Fully 75% of you are well below average in turning in these projects on time,” the teacher said, tossing down her dry-erase marker in a fit of pique.