Old friend declines to attend wedding she can’t endorse

Dear Abby: My dear friend of many years is marrying for the fourth time. Her fiance is verbally abusive and a drinker. After a particularly bad period she went through with him, I told her that if she married him, she should just let me know when it was over because I had no desire to witness this union.

Well, she called me a few days ago with the date assuming I was going to go. When I reminded her of what I had said, she said she hadn’t believed me. She wasn’t happy about it, but seems to have accepted it. Do I need to acknowledge this wedding with a card or just let the day pass? — Not A Fan Of The Man Dear Not A Fan: Be prepared for the fact that your decision not to attend her wedding may result in distancing you from your friend. Send a sweet card with your good wishes. Then cross your fingers and pray for her.

Dear Abby: I am a disabled vet, long divorced. My significant other is a widow, who suffers from advanced arthritis. I love her, but I have become a full-time caregiver when I need someone to take care of me. I find myself almost wishing she would pass, so I could lay down and die. Any thoughts? — Worn Out In The Carolinas Dear Worn Out: Yes, before I share them I want to thank you for your service. As much as you love your lady friend, your own health must come first. You must

allow taking care of her to make you sick.

Does she have family who could help out? If not, perhaps social services can help find someone to assist her. Before doing that, tell your doctor what you have written to me because the feelings you describe may be symptoms not only of exhaustion but also depression.

Dear Abby: My family and I are set to take a vacation with another family this summer. We will be renting a house. What is the appropriate split for the rental fee? My wife and I have four children; the other couple has two. All of the children are younger than 8.

I think my wife and I should pay more because our family is larger. The other couple wants to pay 50/50, saying the children are so little they shouldn’t be considered in the cost of the trip. I think an appropriate compromise would be for each family to pay half the rental, but my wife and I pay for all of the food. What do you think? — Happy Problem Dear Happy Problem: I think it would be appropriate to offer a split of 60/40. You would be paying a little bit extra. However, if they still prefer splitting it in half, you should agree rather than argue.