Shot to kill, ex-Dallas cop sobs

DALLAS — Former Dallas police officer Amber Guyger sobbed on the stand as she testified in her own defense Friday, the fifth day of her murder trial, saying she will forever regret the night she killed Botham Jean.

The prosecution said the fired police officer cared more about herself than Jean that night and failed to give the Harding University graduate proper first aid.

Guyger, 31, fatally shot Jean, a 26-year-old accountant, in his Dallas apartment Sept. 6, 2018. Her defense team has called it a “tragic but innocent” mistake and argued that she was reasonable to believe that Jean was a burglar when she entered his apartment, thinking it was her own.

“I was scared whoever was inside of my apartment was going to kill me, and I’m sorry,” Guyger said through tears Friday, her voice shaking. “I have to live with that every single day.”

Guyger said she wishes Jean and her roles had been reversed and he had shot her when she entered his apartment, a floor above hers. Jean was not armed.

“I wish he was the one with the gun and killed me,” she said, seeming to look directly at Jean’s parents as she spoke. “I never wanted to take an innocent person’s life, and I am so sorry. This is not about hate; it’s about being scared.”

Jean’s parents, Allison and Bertrum Jean, remained stoic throughout her testimony.

Lead prosecutor Jason Hermus grilled Guyger during cross-examination, focusing on a moment of her testimony when she said being alone with Jean after she shot him was the “scariest thing” she could imagine.

“That’s the scariest thing you can imagine, right?” Hermus asked.

“Yes, sir,” Guyger said. “Can you imagine Mr. Jean’s perspective? An intruder barging into his apartment,” Hermus said. “And then having been shot and fallen and being alone in that apartment — can’t you imagine that being a little bit scarier than you just being alone at the moment?” “Yes, sir,” she said. Hermus, a former police officer, noted that Guyger shot Jean directly in the chest, right where she was trained as a police officer to shoot.

“When you aimed and pulled the trigger at Mr. Jean, shooting him in center mass right where you are trained, you intended to kill Mr. Jean?” he asked.

“I did,” she said. Intent is a crucial element for prosecutors to establish because it’s what sets murder apart from a reckless act like manslaughter or criminally negligent homicide, lesser charges that the jury could ultimately consider if the judge gives them the option.

Guyger was the first witness her defense team called to the stand Friday. Speaking publicly for the first time since the shooting, she talked about her childhood growing up in Arlington, her affair with her married police partner, her training as an officer and, most importantly, the night she says she confused Jean’s apartment for her own at the South Side Flats, near downtown and not far from police headquarters.

About an hour into her testimony, Guyger broke into tears as defense attorney Toby Shook asked her to demonstrate how she entered Jean’s apartment that night. Hermus asked for a break when she started to sob.

“No, keep going,” Guyger said before Judge Tammy Kemp dismissed the jury for a brief break.

When testimony resumed about a half-hour later, Shook asked Guyger to walk the jury through what happened that night last September.

She said she had yet to open the front door when she heard “shuffling” inside what she believed was her apartment.

“I knew someone was moving around inside my apartment,” Guyger said, “so I wanted just to find that threat.”

When she opened the door, she saw a silhouette of a person in the dark, she said. She pulled her gun with her right hand — her backpack, lunchbox and police vest were in the other — and shouted at Jean, she testified.

“Let me see your hands! Let me see your hands!” she yelled, according to her testimony.

She said Jean began quickly walking toward her and yelled, “Hey, hey, hey!” in an aggressive tone. She said she fired twice from where she was standing in the door frame.

Shook, a former prosecutor, asked her what was going through her head when she fired.

“I was scared he was going to kill me,” Guyger said.

After the two shots, she walked into the apartment and realized she wasn’t in her home, noticing Jean’s round ottoman in his living room.

“It started hitting me that this guy, I have no idea who he is, and that’s when everything just started to spin,” she testified.

Guyger said she dialed 911 while kneeling next to Jean, and had to get up to go into the hallway when the dispatcher asked what apartment she was in.

Guyger said she started to do chest compressions on Jean using her left hand. The prosecution had suggested that she did not provide first aid, noting that her uniform had no blood on it and the gloves in her pocket that night were clean and unused.

“The state he was in, I knew it wasn’t good,” Guyger testified.

Guyger sat Friday with her head bowed, eyes down as the recording of her 911 call played over speakers in the courtroom. One juror and Jean’s father, Bertrum, did the same.

Shook asked Guyger what was going through her head after the shooting.

“That I shot an innocent man. He didn’t deserve — I didn’t — I thought I was in my apartment,” she said.

Guyger had sent texts to her police partner, Martin Rivera, while still on the phone with 911. She said she was scared and had no help to perform CPR on Jean.

“I was by myself with someone I had just shot,” she said. “I was alone with him, and that’s the scariest thing you could ever imagine, and I just wanted help.”

Shook asked how she feels about killing Jean.

“I feel like a terrible person. I feel like crap. I hate that I have to live with this every day of my life. I ask God for forgiveness, and I hate myself every day,” she said, her voice shaking as she cried.

During Guyger’s testimony, Bertrum Jean wiped his eyes from time to time with a white handkerchief. Allison Jean sat for most of the testimony with her left hand cupping her chin, her index finger over her lips. She would periodically shake her head gently as Guyger spoke.

Hermus, during cross-examination, suggested that Guyger had other options when she heard someone in her apartment, like calling for backup or staying in the hall and calling for help with her police radio.

“For your safety, you should have taken a position of cover and concealment and got help,” Hermus said, “and instead you decided to go in.”

“Yes, I did go in,” she said. The prosecutor noted that Guyger had a working radio at her disposal and that police headquarters was two blocks away from the apartment.

“You could have called for help on your radio, and you could have had the cavalry there in two minutes,” Hermus continued. “You could have had SWAT mobilized. … You could have had K9 mobilized. … And had you done any one of those things, Mr. Jean would probably be alive today. Right?” “Yes, sir,” Guyger replied. The trial is scheduled to resume at 9 a.m. today.