Roommate’s presence complicates ‘friends with benefits’ www.DearAbby.com

Dear Abby: I’ve been spending time with a certain gentleman for more than five years. I am in love with him. He had another woman move in with him a few years ago, but we are still friends with benefits, and he has become my best friend.

I know in my heart we are meant to be together. He tells me he loves me but says he can’t ask the other woman to move out because she doesn’t have anywhere to go until she makes the person living in her house move out. How do I talk to him about this? — Other Woman Dear Other Woman: Friends do not string friends along for years, which is what this “gentleman” has been doing to you.

He invited the other woman to move in because she is providing something he finds of value. (Are you sure they haven’t gotten married or enjoy similar benefits?) If he wanted her out, he would find a way. Tell him that as much as you care for him, you can no longer continue to live in limbo. Give him a deadline to get rid of his houseguest and, if he doesn’t meet it, cut off his “benefits.”

Dear Abby: As a woman, I am infuriated by men of all ages who have to adjust their crotches all the time. Is there any way we can tell these men that what they’re doing is vulgar and embarrassing, and it’s rude to do this in public? I’m almost tempted to caress my breasts with both hands and push upward. But I guess that would be worse. Any ideas? — Infuriated In Topeka

Dear Infuriated: Forget hoisting your breasts skyward. Rather than succumb to infuriation, dig deep and try to feel some sympathy. This has everything to do with our Creator’s grand design. Because men’s genitalia are external, they sometimes get pinched in their clothing. It’s only natural that they try to remedy the situation. Because it bothers you so much, try looking elsewhere.

Dear Abby: After a long period of infertility, a dear friend of mine found out she is expecting. Unfortunately, a mutual friend at work stole her thunder and told me about the pregnancy before she had a chance. While I’m pleased to hear that she’s pregnant, I’m a bit upset because I already know. I can no longer give her a genuine reaction when she tells me face-to-face. Of course I will still express how happy I am, but should I let her know I was already informed? — Already Know In The South Dear Already Know: By all means tell your friend how happy you are for her and that you know how long she has wanted this. Express to her how exciting the news is, but do not tell her you already heard it from a co-worker.