For hopeful mom-to-be, timing will be everything

Dear Abby: My husband and I are trying to start a family. Our first month of has not been successful. My cousin has just announced her wedding date. If our second month is successful, my due date will fall two days prior to their wedding.

I’m very close with this cousin. The thought of missing out on her special day makes me upset. If I go into labor the day of the wedding my parents and sister would miss it too. Although she would understand, I would feel guilty. When I brought up the idea of taking the month off so the dates don’t overlap, my husband was furious! He told me I was being completely unreasonable.

All I want to do is start trying again the next month so I would be due the month after the wedding. Am I being insensitive? — Timing It Right In Pennsylvania

Dear Timing: I don’t think you are being insensitive. I do think you are overthinking this. Most people do not conceive on their first try. Sometimes it takes several tries. Pregnant women do not always deliver on schedule. So please, rather than worry about your cousin’s wedding, let things progress in their own time. You will have less drama.

Dear Abby: My husband passed away in early 2014. I haven’t been able to get rid of or give away any of his stuff. He was a successful structural engineer. He had a collection of small metal buildings and ashtrays.

I’m just not sure how to start to move on. Granted, I’m no spring chicken but it would be sweet to find another partner. To do that, I know I’ve got to lose the stuff. Maybe writing to you is helping me to sort it out. I would appreciate knowing your thoughts on the subject. — Sorting Things Out In Florida

Dear Sorting Things Out: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband. No one can dictate when a widow or widower should start donating their deceased spouse’s belongings. Grieving is an individual process, and the timing isn’t the same for everyone. This project doesn’t have to be done all at once.

Contact a thrift store and ask what items they would welcome. The collection of souvenirs may or may not be valuable. An appraiser could help you. If your husband belonged to any organizations, contact them to see if any of the members would be interested in acquiring it.

As to finding another partner, the solution is to make it your business to mingle, be social and scope out dating sites for seniors. If you need help, have a single friend or relative help you put together a profile and show you the ropes so you can do it safely.