Dining etiquette

The season of entertaining and holiday dining is upon us in Northwest Arkansas. And good dining etiquette has a place whether you’re dining at a five-star restaurant, your nearby Cracker Barrel or in your own home.

While there are some written rules about social etiquette, ala Emily Post, there also are unwritten rules about, well, common courtesy. Cracker Barrel Founder Dan Evins himself once said, “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” Here are some guidelines to help any dining experience go smoothly.

Put down the phone

When dining out or attending a party, pay attention to fellow guests or dining partners and not your device. Turn off the ringer, resist the urge to check the sports score, wait to text a friend until you’re done, and devote your attention to eating the meal, not Instagramming it. And, while you’re at it, don’t put your keys or purse on the table.

Let the host lead

The host or hostess is responsible for setting the tone of the meal and ensuring everyone is comfortable. Take a backseat to your host and let him or her guide the meal. If you ARE the host at a restaurant meal, set up payment of the meal ahead of time.

Patience is a virtue

Restaurant wait times are not an exact science. Restaurant hostesses can offer an estimate, but it’s impossible to say exactly when you’ll be seated, because the restaurant has no control over the party vacating your table. Do not take frustrations out on the staff. If time is of the essence, dine during off-peak hours or visit a less busy establishment.

The menu is not yours to edit

Restaurants are usually willing to cater to certain requests, especially if food allergies are a concern. However, the establishment is not your personal kitchen. Make your requests for substitutions reasonable. If you are invited to dinner at a private residence and have dietary restrictions, make sure to let your host know.

Be on time

Make reservations, and respect your reservation time at a restaurant. If you are more than 15 minutes late for your reservation, a restaurant may give your table away. If you know you are running late, call the restaurant to tell them. And by all means, call if you are not going to show up. If you are going to someone’s home, arrive on time, as party hosts likely have timed their foods accordingly and you don’t want to delay or spoil the taste and presentation of the food.

Teach your children well

Dining out with children presents challenges and opportunities, one of them being the opportunity to teach children manners. And to demonstrate those good manners yourself. (Hint: everyone should use their “inside voice.”) To avoid meltdowns, be sure children are well-rested and have had a snack before arriving. Avoid scenes that disturb other diners; take the child outside to calm down if he or she acts up. Call ahead to make sure a restaurant is child-friendly. For a dinner party at a private residence, the invite usually will indicate if children are invited and is usually addressed as “and family.”

Be courteous to the wait staff and tip appropriately

All of the people serving you are doing their jobs and trying to make a living. Be polite. Say please and thank you. Don’t snap your fingers. Not everything that goes wrong in a restaurant is their fault.

Although it can be tempting to refrain from tipping when service is poor, this isn’t always the best idea. That’s because some restaurants employ a shift system in which all of given shift’s gratuities enter a pool and are divided by a point system. Otherwise, each individual server is responsible for tipping his or her support staff, which includes a busser, a runner, a back waiter, and/or a bartender. Rather than punish the whole lot, reduce the tip and then discuss your misgivings with the restaurant manager.

Gratuities are typically included in the bill for larger parties. Restaurants generally add an 18 percent gratuity to the bill. Restaurants put this in place to safeguard their staff. This gratuity should be mentioned on the bill or on the menu. If the service was excellent, diners may want to tip on top of the included gratuity.

Following dining etiquette rules can make meals more enjoyable for everyone.