Roadside memorial grows in homeowner’s front yard

Dear Abby: A terrible car accident happened in front of my house a few months ago that resulted in the death of a husband and father. The family comes out every Sunday to place flowers at the accident site, which is my front yard. At first, I had no problem with them expressing their grief and tried to console the widow. The problem is, she has gradually added a memorial stone, an angel statue, vases and some of her husband’s belongings. My front yard is beginning to look like a graveyard.

Now she wants to place a protective shelter over the site. My husband is threatening to pull everything up. To add to all this, another fatal accident occurred last month, resulting in the death of a 22-year-old. He was

the son of one of my children’s teachers. We live on a dangerous road, and we are petitioning for changes. —

Grieving In The Midwest

Dear Grieving: You are obviously a caring person or you wouldn’t have allowed this situation to got this far. It won’t be a pleasant conversation, but it’s time for you and your husband to talk with the widow and explain that while you sympathize with her loss, you prefer your yard not be used this way. You have that right. It’s private property.

Suggest to her that there may be some other way to memorialize her husband, but you need the memorabilia removed within a reasonable time frame. You may also want to check what the laws are about this.

Dear Abby: I’ve been happily married for 34 years. My wife’s a gourmet cook. She takes extra care when she cooks, and I appreciate it.

Sometimes she will cook something like enchilada casserole. When she serves it, I like to add other toppings like sour cream. I don’t do it with everything — just certain dishes. I always taste it first.

She insists that by altering the dish, I ruin her creation, which is disrespectful. I disagree. Why would she want me to enjoy my meal less by not fixing it up the way I enjoy? We both agreed to seriously consider what you have to say about this. — Recipe

For Disaster In Texas

Dear Recipe: Your wife feels creative pride in the meals she prepare. When you alter them, she may feel that somehow her creation was a failure. Reassure her that her meals are excellent, but not everyone has the same palate. It may have something to do with where you were raised, or the household you grew up in.

Perhaps your wife should consider altering the seasonings in a portion of what she prepares to suit you. If she can’t do that, she shouldn’t blame you for doing it. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren,also known as Jeanne Phillips,and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or visit