Teenager kicked out by dad who thinks she’s ungrateful

Dear Abby: I am 19 and was kicked out of my house. I’m grateful for everything my parents have done for me, but my dad continues to compare me to my older siblings, although I’m the exact opposite of them. They are not going to college, they barely graduated from high school and continue to abuse alcohol and drugs.

I’m in college earning almost all As. I graduated from high school with flying colors and have a steady job. I provide for myself. I have tried to be a good influence for my younger siblings.

I have asked my father multiple times during the last year to stop comparing me to my older siblings. He hasn’t. He said I was an “ungrateful daughter” and “hoeing around just like my older siblings.”

I can’t understand how he came to that conclusion. I was very hurt he thought that of me. What should I do? —

Bewildered Daughter In Texas

Dear Daughter: I don’t know what’s wrong with your father, but something is. You appear to be mature and responsible and doing your best for a successful future. I applaud you for it.

If it’s possible for you to live elsewhere, perhaps with other relatives, and avoid your father’s uncalled-for verbal abuse, it might be healthier for you. Do not expect him to be pleased about it, because no matter how hard you try, you may never be able to please him, so be prepared.

Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I argue about is religion. I am a Catholic and he’s from another Christian denomination.

I respect all religions and am open-minded, but I don’t like his church after going three times. They have many strict rules which, if not obeyed, will result in a person being shunned.

My boyfriend’s parents want me to convert, but I don’t want to. His relationship with his parents is being affected as a result. It would be hard to convince him to join my church. We have had many fights over this, and I wonder if we should just break up. Please give me some advice. — Stressed In

The Islands

Dear Stressed: Considering the stance your boyfriend’s family’s religion has on marrying out of the faith, I’m surprised your relationship has made it this far. Fighting benefits neither of you. Talking about this calmly and rationally might bring you closer.

If he quits his church, his family and friends will make every effort to isolate and punish him. He may have to completely rebuild his social relationships. The two of you might like to explore finding a denomination together that fills your needs. But be prepared for pushback because his parents (and possibly yours) are not going to like it.