Memories of woman cloud devoted dad’s happiness

Dear Abby: I have been married to my wife for two years, together for 10. We have two kids with a third on the way. Our relationship is great.

I just have this feeling of loneliness. I feel like I have my children and that’s it. My mind often wanders to a woman from the past. I would never leave my children. I just cannot control these chronic feelings of unhappiness and loneliness. I wish I could just have one conversation with said woman. I don’t know what to do. — Ron In California

Dear Ron: “One conversation” with the woman from your past won’t fix what has gone wrong with your marriage. You have a responsibility to your wife and your growing family. What you are experiencing could be symptoms of depression. You may be feeling overwhelmed with the responsibilities you now carry and subconsciously yearning for the carefree years you enjoyed before you were formally married. Before you feel more alienated than you already do, I urge you to talk this out with a licensed psychotherapist.

Dear Abby: I have a friend who has a habit of giving me unsolicited gifts. It’s little things, but it makes me feel obligated to give her a gift back. I would rather not be stuck in this continual gift exchange loop, especially during a pandemic.

The last gift she offered I refused because it was an offensive toy that wasn’t age appropriate for my daughter. Was I right to do that? How can I stop this cycle without hurting my friend’s feelings? — Gifted In The West

Dear Gifted: Understand that this friend may not give you these gifts out of generosity, but because it gives her an excuse to interact with you. You have a right to refuse any item that you feel is inappropriate. Tell his person her friendship is enough and you will no longer accept any gifts because it makes you uncomfortable.

Dear Abby: I have an older relative who uses the word “whatever” when she is done discussing something. I don’t think she realizes how dismissive it comes across to others. It creates a barrier with family, and I think people distance from her because of it. How can I explain that the word has a negative connotation and should be avoided? — Staying Away To Not Get Hurt

Dear Staying Away: Address it the next time she uses “whatever” in conversation with you. Ask if she is using the word because she isn’t interested in what you are saying and what she means by it. Then explain how it made you feel, because it may not have been her intent. (If it was, then you, too, have a right to distance yourself.)