Husband throws a wrench in his wife’s exercise plans

Dear Abby: As a way to manage my stress and anxiety, I started to exercise. I have realized the power of being healthy, and I try to exercise every day. The problem? My husband.

I tried swimming in the morning before work, but he said he couldn’t get our 2-year-old ready for school. I tried to go to the gym in the early evening, but he said he needs me to help get the children ready for bed.

I don’t know what to do. Last night he told me I am selfish and should move out. Can you help me? — Keeping My Sanity

Dear Keeping: Establishing a routine of regular exercise wasn’t selfish. It is important that you continue to take care of your physical and emotional health. Could he be jealous or threatened by what you have accomplished? Saying something so extreme as “you should move out” was childish.

A mature approach would be for the two of you to agree upon a schedule in which he either dresses the kids in the morning or tucks them in at night. It not only would be a lot less expensive than a divorce, but your husband might even grow to enjoy it.

Dear Abby: I have been dating a divorced mother of three. Her children are between the ages of 7 and 12.

The problem is, she’s reluctant to let her ex-husband know about me for fear of his violent reaction. Because of this, she doesn’t want her kids to know we are romantically involved. They think I’m just a “friend.”

We have been seeing each other for a couple of years now. I love her, but I’m starting to get the feeling this will never move forward. What should I do? And how long should I wait? — Tentative In California

Dear Tentative: I wish you had written sooner. It appears that although the woman you’re involved with is divorced, she is far from free. If she’s afraid her ex will become violent if she makes her relationship with you official, and he has acted violently toward her in the past, she should contact her local police department and report it. She may also want to consider a restraining order and/or supervised visitation when he sees the children. If she is unwilling to free herself, then for your own sake, end the relationship because it will never progress.

Dear Readers: Today we remember the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., who was martyred in the cause of civil rights in 1968. His words ring as true today as when he first uttered them: “We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.” His was a voice of reason in a time of insanity, silenced too soon. — Abby

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O.Box 69440,Los Angeles, CA 90069 or visit www.DearAbby.com