Wife can’t stop thinking about husband’s old girlfriend

Dear Abby: I’m a young wife. I married after three months of dating my military husband. He was previously in an on-again/off-again relationship for about eight years, during which she had a baby with another man. I believe my husband is still in love with her. After constantly asking him, he says he just wishes her well and he doesn’t have any romantic feelings. I’m not sure what to do, and I just keep overthinking it. Any thoughts? —

Hates Husband’s History Dear H.H.H.:

Stop torturing your husband — and yourself — by constantly asking him about his feelings for his unfaithful ex-girlfriend. Get to work building your self-esteem, and you will have less to worry about. Your husband’s history is his own. You are making a mistake by dragging it into your marriage. Concentrate on the positive, and you will have a happier marriage.

Dear Abby: Shortly after a retired, not-so-close friend moved to another city, he began sending emails about events he had read about. At first there were only a few, but as the days increased, so did his emails. His daily emails are more than I want to read. I am spending too much time deleting them. Should I ask him not to send them anymore, or should I stay quiet so as not to hurt his feelings? — Inbox Full In Missouri

Dear Inbox Full: Your friend may be sending these items because, as a retiree, he has little to do. It would not be rude to tell him you don’t have time to review all of the emails he has been sending and ask him to send fewer. However, if he doesn’t comply, feel free to block the emails or create a filter that sends them to a folder so they can be easily scanned and deleted.

Dear Abby: My husband of 32 years often tells me women compliment him on his looks or the way he dresses. I compliment him often, but I think it’s his way of telling me that he’s still “got it” and I should be proud of him.

Am I crazy for not enjoying hearing what other women think? It has caused some insecurity on my part. I have asked him to stop sharing these comments. Am I wrong? — Loves Him Inside And Out

Dear Loves Him: I don’t think you’re wrong. Has it occurred to you that your husband may do this because he is insecure? People who are secure within themselves do not feel the need to continually toot their own horns. The next time he does it, smile, and tell him you agree with his admirer. And repeat as necessary.