Back to the future

Entering the post-mask, -distancing world, with appetizers

Idid something the other day that just a few short months ago would have been considered either brave or reckless and foolhardy to the point of being almost criminally negligent. I went to a party.

You can send me the medal or the citation through the mail because, you know, crowds and social distancing pretty much preclude an awards ceremony.

In all fairness, I and everyone in my immediate group have been fully vaccinated and the event was outside. So our risk was nonexistent at best and about as great as the chances of being struck by lightning while being eaten by a shark at the worst. Not sure why that illustration appeals to me so much, but I always go back to it whenever someone asks how safe those of us among the vaxxed should feel.

So we were about as prepared for this grand reentry into society (or at least a late afternoon party) as we could possibly be, short of wearing hazmat suits or jumping in the way-back machine and heading to 2019, neither of which I’d recommend. I mean, hazmat suits are ugly yet uncomfortable and who would want to have to live through 2020 again?

Still, it felt … odd. Strange. A little scary. Sort of like the feeling you get riding a roller coaster. Or, perhaps, a virtual roller coaster, since we really didn’t even need to keep our arms and legs inside at all times.

Which is sort of a testimony to how quickly things become “normal” and then just how odd the new “new normal” can feel. After all, 24 months ago, walking around in a mask would have gotten you some seriously strange looks or tasered in the lobby of your bank. Now, not wearing one feels like you parked in a handicapped spot, went in through the out door and used the express lane with more than 20 items. Any of which really ought to get you tasered.

My general impression of this act of wanton bravery and risk-taking was that it was very well done and the appetizers were incredible. I highly recommend the pork belly. Nice char. Wait, sorry, you probably were wondering about the experience of being around lots of people in a social setting just months after we were still being asked to hide out in our homes. Good pork belly will distract you like that.

Actually, after the initial hesitancy, it was … odd. And while the oddness tended to come and go and perhaps was (literally) me, it was not a little disconcerting to see that many faces in one place at one time. Again, literally, to see their actual faces.

Also interesting to see how many of my contemporaries had fully embraced both facial hair and Ben and Jerry’s. The latter I’m totally on board with. The former … well, since for good reason I’m no longer in charge of my wardrobe or face, I’d have to run that up the flagpole and I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t get very many salutes.

It was, also, after the initial oddness, very nice. It seems it’s been forever since we’ve been around people not in our immediate families. So even coming in contact with casual acquaintances you might not have seen much before the pandemic felt like running into long-lost relatives. And we all exhibited that “coming out of the bunker” mentality, complete with a general overwhelming joy at having survived.

OK, the downside. For those of us fully functioning introverts who have been using covid as an excuse to avoid gatherings and the mall and restaurants and, well, you know, people, time’s up. We’re all about to be inundated with invitations to celebrations of weddings, births, graduations, birthdays and just about any other milestones we got out of last year. Buckle up, practice smiling and scouting for corners to stand in and dust off your signature dance move that looks a lot like someone trying to direct traffic. Potentially, there will be open bars.

Also, it’s likely we’re going to have to wear shoes. Just saying. And warning.

And, one more thing to consider. If you’ve been locked away for the 18 or so months and have either forgotten or blocked it out, we are in the very beginning of summer in Arkansas. So if you’re going to be outside at, say a party, you might want to bear that in mind.

Strangely enough, despite everything else that has changed, it still gets pretty hot outside around here. Who would have imagined?