Wife takes over whole home with remote work

Dear Abby: My wife works from home, and we are having a disagreement about the home workspace. She says I interrupt her by talking to her too often. While I agree with that, I don’t agree with her roaming around the house with her laptop while she’s in meetings. If I turn on the TV, listen to music or talk on the phone, she gets upset.

What she’s doing is like taking your laptop into the work break room and telling people to be quiet because she’s in a meeting.

I know her job is stressful and she gets anxious, so I’m torn. Am I unrealistic to expect her not to make our entire house her office?

— Walking On Eggshells

Dear Walking: People create home offices for a reason. It’s a dedicated, organized place to work. Your wife should not be “roaming the house” with her laptop and insisting you stay silent. Ideally, some physical boundaries should be set that equitably divide the house between her “office” and the “rest of the house.”

You should try to find an activity away your home a couple of days a week while she’s busy in meetings. This might provide you with more social contact. Have a (calm) discussion to see what works for you both.

Dear Abby: I got engaged a while back. In the midst of wedding planning, the question of who will walk me down the aisle has come up. My fiance despises my father (he’s witnessed the damage my dad has done to me), but I forgave Dad and feel neutral about his presence. My mom has begged that I allow her and Dad to give me away since she didn’t have either parent there for her wedding.

I don’t have an opinion on the subject. My mom does for sentimental reasons. But my future husband can’t bear the sight of my dad. This is causing me so much anxiety, I have thought about calling the whole thing off.

If I oblige my mom, my fiance will be unhappy, and if I oblige my fiance, I’ll break Mom’s heart. Any advice on how to proceed?

— Torn

Bride-To-Be Dear Torn: This is your and your fiance’s wedding. Rather than make yourself sick with anxiety, walk yourself down the aisle. Many modern brides do. Your mother could give a reading or sit with your father in the front row and cheer you on.

P.S. Have you thought about how your fiance’s antipathy for your father may affect your marriage? What’s happening now isn’t conducive to a happy marriage. It needs to be resolved before you marry. Family counseling might help. Once you tie the knot, your fiance will be part of the family.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or visit www.DearAbby.com