After decades of being alone, woman ponders purpose in life

Dear Abby: I am 66 and a 20-year widow. I live alone but have an active social life with my friends. We live in a small town with very little to do, but we get together often to watch movies, eat out, etc. I never had children, and all my relatives have passed away.

I’m mostly satisfied with my life. Everything I own is paid for, and I have enough money to last until my death. I have everything (materially) I could possibly want or need, yet I feel something is missing from my life. It’s not religion; I am a committed Christian.

I could pay for anything I want, but I don’t want for anything. I volunteer and am socially active and involved in my church. Yet, I feel empty inside. I realize I’m blessed, and most people would give anything to sit where I’m sitting. Do you have any ideas as to what’s missing? — Living

Life In Texas

Dear Living Life: You may be experiencing something called an “existential crisis,” which is not uncommon. It refers to someone who wonders if his or her life has meaning. Rather than dwell on what may be missing from your life, perhaps consider spending some time reflecting on some of the positive differences you make in the lives of others.

When was the last time you helped someone feel better about herself? Have you gone out of your way to do a friend or an acquaintance a favor, or lent a willing ear to someone who needed to talk? If the answer is yes, start a journal.

Write your thoughts and activities down and review it when you feel empty. If you do it for a while, it may give you a different perspective.

Discuss your feelings with your friends, some of whom likely have similar experiences. And make 30 minutes of exercise a part of your daily routine. Exposure to sunlight can lift your mood. If that doesn’t help, schedule a doctors appointment to make sure everything is in order emotionally and physically.

Dear Abby: Whether my siblings were right or wrong my mom always stood up for them. Even when she knew they lied, she would say, “I have to believe them. They are my daughters.” I would ask her, “What am I?” and she would restate her comment.

Not surprisingly, my mother and I don’t see eye to eye, and I would never go to her for help or advice. She’s paid for all my sisters’ court costs. When I needed help as a student-teacher, she told me to figure it out. I always did, but I can never understand why she truly didn’t like me. When should I walk away? — Ready To Call It Quits Dear Ready: Your mother’s favoritism was shameful. To stick around trying to ingratiate yourself to someone who will never give you the love or respect you deserve would be a waste of time. When should you walk away? You have my blessing to start today. It will be therapeutic.