Dad must endure entitled teen’s frequent tantrums

Dear Abby: I’m writing on behalf of my partner of more than 10 years. He has three daughters ages 23, 20 and 16. While he’s close to two of them, his youngest distances herself when she doesn’t get what she wants or disagrees with his point of view.

Eight months ago, she stopped talking to him because he badmouthed a band she likes. He said they weren’t worth the money when she asked for a ticket to their concert. He was going to appease her, but her reaction was so strong, she didn’t give him a chance to let her know he would buy the ticket anyway.

Her mother doesn’t encourage the relationship or support the importance of her having her father in her life or regular visits, although it’s court-ordered. He tried making contact several times when this last episode happened, but she ignored his calls and messages. Now that her birthday is coming up, she had her older sister send her wish list to him via a text message. Should he buy gifts for a child who has ignored him for the better part of a year? — Gifts Or No Gifts

Dear G.O.N.G.: If your partner’s daughter wants gifts for her birthday, she should ask him directly and not telegraph the message through her sister. Your partner should do what he wants to do about her behavior. You and I know how we would handle this, but we are not him and we are not emotionally involved. Stay out of the line of fire.

Dear Abby: With no warning, my mother-in-law left my father-in-law. From what she tells me, he was verbally and emotionally abusive and controlling. My father-in-law is now marrying someone he met shortly after my MIL left.

I don’t mind that he’s remarrying, but I do mind that no one has told my husband’s mother. FIL won’t tell her, and my husband won’t either. She has said she “doesn’t want to know” what’s going on with my FIL. Not only does she not know, but neither does my husband’s brother, who despises his father.

My husband’s extended family will be attending the wedding. I have immense guilt about going. I feel like I’m betraying my MIL, with whom I have a good relationship. My husband wants me to attend because he needs support. If I had it my way, I wouldn’t go. I’ve never had a great relationship with my FIL, and he doesn’t appear to have changed, even though he’s with someone new. — In A Tough Spot In Iowa

Dear Tough Spot: Your MIL made clear that she doesn’t want to know anything about your FIL, so keep your mouth shut and don’t be the town crier. Because your husband needs your support, go to the wedding and offer “good wishes.” (It sounds like they’ll need them.) When your MIL finds out, remind her that she said she didn’t want to be informed, so you respected her wishes.