Kozlowski’s memoir nothing to snore at

Many years ago, Carl Kozlowski, a graduate of Little Rock’s Catholic School for Boys, left Arkansas with stars in his eyes. Today, Kozlowski is back home touting a collection of stories on various adventures … mostly about the ZZZs coming out of his mouth.

“Dozed and Confused: Tales of a Nutty, Narcoleptic Life” is Kozlowski’s self-published memoir of navigating the big cities of Chicago and Los Angeles while working as an arts editor, journalist and stand-up comedian. The noticeable wrinkle in Kozlowski’s tale is his self-described diagnosis of having the “worst case of sleep apnea on the planet.”

“Dozed and Confused” is anchored in eye-opening accounts of Kozlowski waking up in odd locations and confronting awkward situations. He fell asleep while interviewing Hilary Swank — she raced to get a security guard, convinced that Kozlowski had died in front of her. When he was in Los Angeles, he found himself in a locked city bus parked overnight with no way to get out. Another bus trip found him putting his hand on a stranger’s knee while dreaming of doing the same thing during a date.

In his foreword to “Dozed and Confused,” author and character actor Stephen Tobolowsky (whose most memorable role is that of the annoying insurance salesman Ned Ryerson in “Groundhog Day”) praises Kozlowski for his general positive attitude at otherwise mortifying moments: “Kozlowski’s indomitable spirit, his relentless imagination and his unique vision has the power to see hope and delight in almost any situation.”

Kozlowski had an interest in journalism and writing for newspapers in high school. He was an intern at the Democrat-Gazette for a while. When he decamped for Chicago in the 1990s after graduating from Texas Christian University, he scored a high-profile paid internship at the Chicago Tribune.

At the same time, Kozlowski set his sights on success through the world of improv. Chicago is home to Second City — the most famous improv troupe in the country and

former home of an army of film and “Saturday Night Live” stars. However, improv classes at Second City got Kozlowski no closer to fame and so, thanks to a friend’s suggestion, he tried his hand at stand-up.

He got some laughs in his first go-round and hasn’t looked back since.

“I wanted to go into comedy when I was 12,” Kozlowski says. “I loved David Letterman. I am a clean comic.”

After the stint at the Tribune, Kozlowski moved to California and eventually found a steady job with the Pasadena Weekly, where he would write all manner of arts stories, film reviews and would go on to be arts editor.

Kozlowski’s ambition was in high gear in Los Angeles. He won the title of America’s Funniest Reporter at the Laugh Factory in Hollywood. Afterward, he had a quote at the ready: “I haven’t had a chance to get an ego about it yet because the certificate they handed me misspelled my last name and I still had a two-hour bus ride home.”

The stories for Kozlowski’s book started out as a script for a one-man show that he would present at the Hollywood Fringe.

“I was virtually narcoleptic and in the car capital of the world, but I couldn’t drive,” Kozlowski says. “I had all these weird experiences while I was there. I finally decided to put the stories together for a show. I like storytellers like David Sedaris.”

Not all the material in the book deals with Kozlowski’s strange sleep habits. One of the chapters, titled “Catholic school is, well, unforgettable. Definitely unforgivable,” concerns misadventures at Little Rock’s St. Edward Catholic School.

“I had so many stories,” Kozlowski says. “There are 31 chapters and only six deal with my sleep issues.”

Kozlowski came back to Arkansas after being laid off from the Pasadena Weekly. The interruption of regular life during the covid pandemic gave Kozlowski time to put this book together. He has a government job now and works “8 to 4:30.”

“I really thought I would hate it but I love it. I never had regular hours like this before.”

The good news is that he has his sleep disorder under control. The reward was immediate. His father is in his 80s but helped teach Kozlowski to drive.

“We practiced in a cemetery, if you can imagine that. The truth is that I drive like an 80-year-old man.”

Being in Arkansas hasn’t put the brakes on Kozlowski’s striving. He has done some sets at open mic nights in Little Rock. Kozlowski is most excited about Catholic Laughter, an organization of clean comics, which he co-founded and serves as chief executive officer. A big, three-night show in Chicago featuring Catholic Laughter comics has just been booked.

For Kozlowski this is good news. The even better news is that he’ll be awake for it.